EcoKat wants you to pull her finger
so she can explain about the dangers of methane.

Kansas State -27.5 vs. Eastern Kentucky 
So, Kansas State is unveiling an environmentally conscious mascot this season named EcoKat.  Nevermind the fact that she has the hair of an 80s tramp hot on the trail of C. C. Deville’s bod.  Just revel in the fact that, yes, this will definitely save the world, rest assured.  We definitely should conserve more energy…  I just love it when college kids prattle on about the environment… on their several mobile electronic devices.  But hey, what do I know?  I believe in that really wacky theory that climate change is just a natural process.  Geaux CERN!  And now you know the real reason the Big 12 cut 2 teams down to 10 members- energy saving reductions.    EcoKats 38, Eastern Kentucky 10

Time for the Willie Lyles Bowl at JerryWorld!

Step up & empty your wallets, suckers!

Oregon -4.5 vs. LSU at JerryWorld
So, here’s a transcript from eyewitness accounts of how the LSU Bar Brawl went down:

Jordan Jefferson (JJ):   Damn, man, I want to get into some trouble to-night!  I just wish some punkass military man would come in & start some stuff & then I’d show him what’s up, yo!  I’m black, so you know I’m just looking for some crime to commit, ya know?
The Marine (TM):   Good evening, fellow American friend.  It is a fine evening for an adult beverage in our most wonderful country, don’t you think? (knocks back a long sip of his beer)  Ah, that is the taste of Freedom, my friend!
JJ:   Oh, you don’t know, bitch? I’ma ’bout to woop dat ass ‘cuz I hate Marines & dey mommas & all the other military too. Cuz I’m black, so I hate America.  I’ma skullf_ck you, dude! Here I go!
TM:   Whoa, my fellow American friend I am only here looking for my long, lost love & to pick up my friends who are in distress & in need of a ride.  I had heard of their plight after stopping by the local Heroic Heroes’ Hall where all of us decorated war heroes & Heroic Heroes hang out & help helpless victims.  I have no quarrel with you, good sir
JJ:  Oh now you done it! I hate you so much cuz you a Heroic Hero & just helping people & that makes me angry!  Cuz all I am is a black man who just wants to criminally commit crime! (cue dastardly devastating melée where the Marine is beaten unmercifully to within a hair’s breadth of death… ZING! POW! KABOOM! KERRANG!) Yeah! There, bitch!  Thas how we do it in da BR, yo!  Hey Fightin’ Tigers fight all the way, y’heard?!  I’m a fucking soldier!

And thus it (the Bar Brawl) was.  Miraculously, the Marine made it to the hospital (after initially turning down emergency help at the scene but well enough to lawyer up on the way to the hospital) where the medical staff used cutting edge technology to get him home by early next morning:

Concerned onlookers look on with concern for the Heroic Hero Marine beaten by Jordan Jefferson

Oregon 26, LSU 23

  1. […] Bill Snyder have been conserving energy for this matchup?  Get it?  Get it? GET IT?  Because K-State has EcoKat.  To be fair to EcoKat, she/he/it probably has the same tactical of nous of Mack Brown who, […]

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