Mints to mask the taste of some funky nuggetz

So, Nuggeteers, Week 1 resulted in only 4 picked games due to your intrepid & annoying leader, Curtísimo du Chuckles, not sure how this venture will shake out.  Week 1 in College Foosball saw plenty of horrid uniforms unleashed on an unsuspecting public & several games called due to inclement weather, including yesterday’s “Coal Bowl” between Marshall & West Virginia [though Wiki says the Coal Bowl is contested between the 2 Pennsylvania schools named after states, California (Pa.) & Indiana (Pa.)].  The symbolic gesture of the Coal Bowl being shut down, was no doubt cheered in the far fringe of the Green movement, even though those knuckleheads still don’t understand where the majority of our electricity in this country comes from.  But I digress…

My picks this past week were kind of like Green energy in it’s current state- a lot of promise but not very efficient, so far.

Mississippi St. -30 at Memphis
Predicted score: 38-14, Moo St.         Actual score: 59-14, Moo St.
Won, straight up; Lost, against the spread

Mississippi St. led by Black Tebow & Dan Mullen’s super whizbang Addazio-proof spread ran & threw all over Memphis in an offensive output not seen in Starkville since Will Clark & Rafael Palmeiro prowled the baseball diamond for the ‘Dawgs in the late 80s.  As a Tigah fan the Moo St. game worries me a good bit now even with them coming off of a short week following next week’s SEC Spread Bowl versus Awburn.


“Chris Relf- better form than Tebow!”

TCU -4.5 at Baylor
Predicted score: TCU, 34-24          Actual score: Baylor, 50-48
Lost, SU; Lost, ATS 

There wasn’t this many fireworks in Waco since the Branch Davidian compound invasion mentioned in the picks.  Robert Griffin threw like 19 TDs in the 1st half but costly penalties & an overall “shit-the-bed”ness style of play almost cost the Bears the game late on.  But Baylor kicked a field goal late to save Baylor’s Bacon.  Mmmmmmm, bacon.


David Koresh: “If we would’ve had Robert Griffin at Branch David, we would’ve beaten the ATF”

Kansas St. -27.5 vs. Eastern Kentucky
Predicted score: EcoKats, 38-10         Actual score: EcoKats, 10-7
Won, SU; Lost, ATS 

Good god.  This weekend had plenty of bad uniforms, bad weather stopping games & bad teams making bigger schools look, bad mmmmkay?  The EcoKats lived up to their new energy saving mascot & conserved all their energy for the 4th quarter when they scored ten to top Eastern Kentucky.  Get it?  Conserved energy?  Wocka wocka wocka


Moments after this picture was taken, EcoKat & Willie drove a Suburban 2 blocks to get some coffee

Oregon -4 vs. LSU at JerryWorld
Predicted score: Oregon 26-23          Actual score: LSU, 40-27
Lost, SU; Won, ATS 


“Keep sending your geniuses.  Their tears taste like taffy.”

Duck Spread 3.0? FAIL!  “The Ducks will wear down LSU’s defense.” FAIL!  “The Ducks will line up & run plays & the defense can’t keep up.”  FAIL!  “The SEC hasn’t seen the kind of speed LaMichael James & Kenjon Barner will provide Oregon.”  FAIL!  You’re right.  You know why ESPN hasn’t seen speed like Barner & James regularly?  B/c that kind of speed in the SEC is on the club quidditch team!  Once again, the Hat adorned idiot hands another coaching genius his ass.  The Heisman will once again go to some schmuck offensive player but you people- yes, I said you people- need to watch Tyrann Mathieu on every play.  He ain’t the walrus but he is the honey badger!  To quote a fellow poster at andthevalleyshook.com:

oblong leather objects with laces gravitate towards Tyrann Mathieu in a way that science can’t explain.”

So, Week 1 ends with a 2-2 W-L record SU & 1-3 ATS.  Sucktastic!

Advertisements
Comments
  1. Rage says:

    Doom follows picks against the Tigers.

  2. curtisimo says:

    I never played Doom. I was more of an Age of Empires kind of guy.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s