Chuckles / Curtisimo’s stealthy, invisible ninjas spy squad has recently obtained an internal document from the ESPN headquarters in the seventh layer of Hell.  The document is a list of the proposed names of the future “super conferences” that will eventually grace thecollege football landscape as BCS conferences teams seek to maximize their revenue & bow to ESPN’s never-ending ruining of college football to fit their TV advertising behemoth.

Worldwide Leader In Sports

To: ESPN Overlords In Charge Of Ruining College Football
From: Research & Creative Department
Date: July 4, 2011
Subject: Proposed Future “Super” Conference names

ACC proposed names
At Least We’re Not The Big East Conference
Basketball On Grass Conference
SEC, 2nd Division Conference
Some Of Our Teams Are Mistaken For The SEC Conference
That Florida St. & Miami Scheme Hasn’t Been Working Out The Last Few Years Conference

Big East conference proposed names
Adding Big To The Conference Name Makes Us Big Time Conference
Hey, The ACC Ain’t Much Better Than Us Conference
If It Were Basketball, We’d Kick Your Ass Conference
Northeast Thinks We’re Hot Shit Conference
Well, It Was Fun When Rich Rodriguez Was Around Conference

Big Ten conference proposed names
Big Ten + X, Where X Equals Any Whole Positive Number Conference
Dammit, One Day We’ll Come Up With Some Bullshit Rule To Catch The SEC Conference
If Notre Dame Had Joined We Would’ve Had It All Conference
No, Really, We Can Count Conference
We Can’t Even Cheat As Well As The SEC Conference

Big 12 conference proposed names
Big 12 – X, Where X Equals Any Whole Positive Number Conference
Endangered Species Conference
Head West To The Pacific 12/14/16 Conference
Texas, Please Don’t Leave! Conference
The Incredible Shrinking Conference

Conference USA proposed names
America, Fuck Yeah! Conference
Freedom Fries Conference
Conference Lee Greenwood
Conference Red, White & Blue
Conference Stars & Stripes

Independents proposed names
Military Academies & Other Prick Schools
Notre Dame & The Little Dwarves
Schools Who Think They’re Too Much Of Cash Cows To Belong In A Conference
Seriously, Who Invited BYU?
Texas Coming Soon!

Mountain West proposed names
If Montana Ever Goes I-A They’re Ours Conference
NORAD Conference
Pacific-12 East Conference
We Ain’t The Midwest! Conference
Where’s That Rumored BCS Bid? Conference

Pacific 12 proposed names
At Least We Have The Right Number In The Name Conference
Aztlán Conference
One Day Will Fall Into The Pacific Conference
Pacific-12, A Subsidiary Of Nike Conference
USC & Their Apostles Conference

SEC proposed names
Conference ESPN
Diet NFL Conference
NFL Light Conference
SEC Premier League
Super Elite Conference

Sun Belt conference proposed names
Bible Belt Conference
Guns & Jesus Conference
Yes, We Really Are A I-A/FBS Conference
SEC, 3rd Division Conference
UAB & ULM Beat Nick Saban Back In The Day Conference

WAC proposed names
Did The Pac-12 Call Yet? Conference
Shhhh, If You Don’t Tell Them, East Coast People Will Think We’re The Mountain West Conference
The WAC Isn’t Wack Conference
Where’d Air Force & BYU Go? Conference
You Can WAC Us All Day & We Can’t Still Can’t Come To A BCS Bowl Conference


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