Thursday’s Game
LSU -4.5 at Moo State
Can Moo State ever find love again in the SEC? Though they have that sole SEC title game appearance back in the 90s (I bet that burns Ole Miss [GEAUX TO HELL!] fans), it’s been bare pickings (no relation to T. Boone) in Starkvegas for over a decade.  Though they were seeming to turn a corner the last couple years with taking the scalp of Florida last year, nearly taking LSU’s scalp in the rain in ’09 the last time we met in Starkvegas & taking last year’s Crystal Asterik winner, Auburn, to the wire… literally last week.  I was really leery of this game a couple of weeks ago before our defense showed itself to be truly fucking hostile versus Oregon & Northwestern St., the latter to whom they allowed -4 yards rushing last week.  With the recent release of LSU’s Nike Pro Combat unis to be worn against Auburn, they’ll be even more fucking hostile as they kind of resemble a football version of Imperial Stormtroopers.  Now, for Moo St. I’m only a little leery.  Although playing in Starkvegas with an improved Moo State squad who is looking for love & on a Thursday Night prime time game has the potential to be a trap for the Tigers but I’ll take Da Tigahs by a Touchdown.  I’m not sure why I capitalized touchdown in that last sentence.         LSU 27, Moo St. 20


Looking for love in Starkvegas requires some initiative

Friday’s Game
Boise St. -20.5 at Toledo
(Scene from over the summer)
Boise: Yeah, boy! We’ll play anybody, anywhere!  BCS busters, baby!  Anybody! Anytime! Anywhere!
Toledo: Ooh! Ooh! Over here! We need a game, Boise.
Boise (ignoring Toledo): What? Hunh?  No takers?  You all scared or what?  Where’s all them big schools, hunh?  We’ll play anybody, anywhere, baby!
Toledo:  Ooh! Ooh! Excuse me?! Boise?  Ooh! Right here, we need a game!  You can come to Toledo too!
Boise (still ignoring Toledo): You all wimps or what? Anybody, anywhere, fools!
Toledo: Ooh! Ooh! Right here, Boise! Right HERE!
Boise (finally acknowledging Toledo with a disgusted sigh): What? Oh, Hi.  Are you um… here to schedule us a game with Ohio St.?
Toledo: Um, no.  We want to play you guys.  But we are in Ohio.  You guys said you’d play “anybody, anywhere,” right?
Boise: Uhhhh, yes.  But, but we meant…
Toledo: “Anybody, anywhere?”
Boise: But…
Toledo: Anybody. Anywhere.
Boise: But…
Toledo: ANYBODY. ANYWHERE.
Boise: (sighs with reluctance) Ok, ok.  We’ll come play in Ohio.  In Toledo… can you guys at least get us some Mud Hens hats?
Toledo: Done!

And thus, Boise will be forced to play in Toledo but luckily for Boise, ESPN will still no doubt verbally fellate them all game long as ESPN is wont to do.  Plus, Boise St. recently took its first official step in trying to be like a BCS school.          Boise St. 41, Toledo 17


Wish Boise St. was playing the Mud Hens, one of the best minor league team names EVAR

PS Honey Badger for Heisman update! The Honey Badger has is own Honey Badger for Heisman Facebook page! Click the link & hit the ‘Like’ button if you don’t give a shit (like the Honey Badger).  

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