Well, The Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiigers zoomed up to the #1 with a 47-21 shellacking of the Mountaineers.  Spin your 533 total yards of offense however you want, Mountain peeples, you still lost by 26.  At home.  On National TV.  Hooray for moral victories!

Friday Game
BYU -3 vs. UCF
Predicted score:  UCF 29, BYU 27          Actual score: BYU 24, UCF 17
SU: Lost; ATS: Lost

The battle of the ethnic-sounding onomatopoeias went to the BYUs as the Cougs scored 21 points in the 2nd half to come from behind over the Golden Knights.  Which means just like in life Cougars get better in the 2nd half.
Saturday’s Games
Notre Dame -7 at Pitt
Predicted score: Notre Dame 31, Pitt 30          Actual score: Notre Dame 15, Pitt 12 
SU: Won; ATS: Won

I didn’t see this game as Urban Meyer was doing the broadcast & I really didn’t feel like getting nauseous before the big LSU-West Virginia game.

Georgia -10 at Ole Miss
Predicted score: Georgia 27, Ole Miss 24          Actual score: Georgia 27, Ole Miss 13
SU: Won; ATS: Lost

Well, ya try to give a rival some credit & think they’ll play well at home & give their opponent a close game but Ole Miss (GEAUX TO HELL!) still somehow contrived to pee in their ice-t.  AFter getting pantsed by Vandy recently Ole Miss (GEAUX TO HELL!) should thank their lucky stars Kentucky is around b/c the Wild cats are the only team that’s looked more dreadful than Ole Piss. (GEAUX TO HELL!)

Bama -12 vs. Arkansas
Predicted score: Bama 26, Arkansas 17         Actual score: Bama 38, Arkansas 14
SU: Won; ATS: Lost 

Well, one of the 1st SEC West showdowns went to the Rolling Taaaaaaahde as $aban’s defense used Tyler Wilson as targeting practice for most of the afternoon.  it was close early but then Bama pulled away with excellent 2nd & 3rd quarters which Bama awarded themselves national championships for & then completed a hat-trick of new, ridiculous accounting of national championships when $aban actually smiled (well, it was more like a smirk) in mid-season when he stayed up all night after the game listening to audio of a snuff film of Wilson’s screams under the relentless Bama pass rush.

Texas A&M -4 vs.Oklahoma St.
Predicted score: Texas A&M 38, Oklahoma St. 28          Actual score: Oklahoma St. 30, Texas A&M 29
SU: Lost; ATS: Lost

Well, A&M somehow contrived to not show up for the second half & Brandon Wheedon wobbled but he didn’t fall down & led the Pokes to come from behind victory.  As A&M snatched defeat from the jaws of victory, it allows Oklahoma St. to march on towards a Big 12-X, Where X Equals Any Whole Number Conference Championship.  This speeds up their time-table for a conference championship by several years when they had hoped to win one by default as the last remaining conference team in 2017 & playing themselves & winning.

LSU -6.5 at West Virginia
Predicted score: LSU 24, West Virginia 14          Actual score: LSU 47, West Virginia 21
SU: Won; ATS: Won 

By any metric you would like to use The Tigers beat up the Mountaineers by the tune of a 26 point victory.  That didn’t stop Mountaineer fans, who are clearly hard up for program attention & recognition, to spin a nearly 4 TD loss as a moral victory b/c of 533 yards of total offense.  However, much to the chagrin (sorry, West Virginia, look the word up) of the Mountaineers let’s take a look at LSU-West Virginia by the numbers:

0 – the # of times a team that has had fewer points than their opponents have ever won a football game
0 – the # of times teams with more yardage but fewer points than their opponents have ever won a football game
0 – the # of times teams that do the above 2 feats will ever win a football game in the future
0 – the # of Honey Badgers that play for West Virginia
0 – the # of fake injuries by LSU against West Virginia
1 – the # of Honey Badgers that play for LSU
21 – the # of points West Virginia scored
26 – LSU’s margin of victory
47 – the # of points LSU scored
X – the # of points that West Virginia think they should’ve scored to win the game
254,433 – # of Mountaineers that are delusional to think that a 26 point loss at home can be spun as a moral victory
296,986 – # of Mountaineers that actually think they won the game
405,677 – # of Mountaineers that think “Fuck all this noise, let’s burn couches”
4,234,765 – the # of F-bombs that Dana Holgerson dropped on National TV
All-Day – The time that LSU & Tyrann Mathieu, Honey Badger was better than West Virginia

So in summation, people who think a 26 point defeat can be spun as a moral victory deserve a baby facepalm:

Stick to burning coaches, John Brown

Weekly Record: SU: 4-2; ATS: 2-4
Season Record: SU: 16-9, .640; ATS: 9-16, .360

  1. Shifty Paulson says:

    .360 ATS? Really?…Reall!!?? That’s a worse record than I had. Shifty Out!

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