Well, Nuggeteers your After Dinner Mintz comes to you on a Tuesday this week b/c ol’ Curtísimo had a busy Sunday of chores & packing before traveling all day yesterday from his great white North refuge of Winterfell-Anchorage back down to humid, yet cool for its clime, Louisiana yesterday. Alaska to east of the Mississipp’ in one day is a long trip, fellas & fellettes, lemme tell ya.
Thankfully, no whining babies or stuck in the upright position seats on the plane this time. Although the 1st leg of the trip to Minneapolis was full up with the last batch of the annoying 50 & 60-something glacier-gawkers from the Midwest complete with their odd, stale powdery smell & awkward almost uncoordinated gaits pestering the flight attendants every 10 minutes or so with some asinine question. I especially liked the obese lady & her waddling, penguin locomotion that was so concerned with the lack of time to reach her connecting flight that she immediately zoomed into the 15 deep line at Mickey D’s on her way through the airport terminal. Sorry connecting flight, the sweet siren call of super, saturated fat beckons!
As always, I digress…
Texas A&M -3 at Arkansas (was really at JerraWorld)
Predicted score: Arkansas 31, Texas A&M 27 Actual score: Arkansas 42, Texas A&M 38
Straight Up: Won; Against the spread: Won
For the second week in a row, A&M contrived to blow a big 2nd half lead 7 this week against their future SEC brethren of the Pig Sooey flavor. This is an early lesson to A&M, much like last season’s Cotton Bowl versus LSU that you must play two halves of good football in this day & age. Top 10 ranking in the pre-season, 2 back-to-back second half collapses in spotlight games (on top of getting blown out in the Cotton Bowl)…. can you say Sherman, dead man walking?
LSU -30.5 vs. Kentucky
Predicted score: LSU 45, Kentucky 10 Actual score: LSU 35, Kentucky 7
SU: Won; ATS: Lost
This game was special in LSU land. In all my years of following Da Tigahs & learning its long, fairly unique lore, this past Saturday marked the 1st time in LSU football’s history where the backup QB was NOT the most popular man on the team as Jordan Jefferson was booed upon his entry into the game. Stand up, clueless superfans & give yourself a round of self-tack hammering! Give yourself another round for excuses for booing Jordan Jefferson b/c “he’s a thug” & NOT booing Brad Wing, Zach Mettenberger or the 50 some odd other players who broke curfew. Never mind all the curious events of the Shady’s incident & the strange, ongoing troubles of JJ’s “victim.” But, alas, far be it from me to not allow you to stand up & boo b/c “JJ HATES MAREENS & DEY MOMMAS TOO!” Amirite, JJ-booers? Amirite?!
But in spite of all the anti-JJ sentiment there was another case of Honey Badgering in this game as well & Andre Ware is now a proud member of the Honey badger for Heisman campaign. Thanks for the treat, Stupid! I done told you, people, he’s. A. F*cking. Phenomenon. And apparently he’s come around to the Honey Badger nickname so ye future opponents should be even more wary.
Honey Badger is eyeing your ham sammich!… and your best girl!
Honey Badger is also keeping a list of who boos JJ!
Ohio St. -3 vs. Michigan St.
Predicted score: Ohio St. 31, Michigan St. 24 Actual score: Michigan St. 10, Ohio St. 7
SU: Lost; ATS: Lost
This was one of the ugliest games I had seen in a while. LSU has gotten bashed from the local & national media the last couple years about ugly offense but this game made bad high school offenses look effective. Especially on the Ohio St. side of the ball. Ohio St. was sacked I think 9 times if I recall correctly & Michigan St.’s only real offense was throwing to B.J. Cunningham. But despite as completely inept as the Suckeyes were on offense (178 yds of offense, 68 of that on a scoring drive with a few seconds to go), Sparty tried mightily to give the game away with 3 turnovers in Suckeye territory & a missed FG.
Bama -3 at Florida
Predicted score: Bama 30, Florida 20 Actual score: Bama 38, Florida 10
SU: Won; ATS: Won
I would’ve liked to see how much money Vegas made in Florida for this one.
Jorts before the game: “Dood! We so gonna upset Bama. I mean it’s in The Swamp, Moosechamp knows Saban’s tricks AND I got Burrito Bros., dood! Salt Life!”
Jorts after the 1st play from scrimmage (Brantley to DuBose TD bomb): “DOOD! DOOD! I told you we gonna beat Bama! DOOD! CHOMP! CHOMP!”
Jorts after Bama had taken a 2 score lead & then put Brantley out the game just before halftime: “Dood, Driskell’s coming in, Tebow 2.0, dood! Watch how we gonna come back on Bama, dood! Salt Life!”
Jorts after the game & a 38-10 whipping: “Whatever, man, we woulda won if it wasn’t for Brantley going out. Dood, can I catch a ride with you to Santa Fe on Monday, if I don’t pass this Western Civ class I’ll never get into UF.”
Wisconsin -10 vs. Nebraska
Predicted score: Wisconsin 28, Nebraska 27 Actual score: Wisconsin 48, Nebraska 17
SU: Won; ATS: Lost
Well, I guess Nebraska & Pvt. Russell Ziskey have something in common now.
Weekly Record: SU: 4-1; ATS: 2-3
Season Record: SU: 20-10, .667; ATS: 11-19, .367
The Tasty Nuggetz 