Be driven back Crocodile Thou Spawn of Set
Move not by means of thy tail
Work not thy feet and legs
Open not thy mouth
Let the water which is before thee
Turn into a consuming fire

I Possess the Spell To
Preserve Me From He Who is in the Water

FROM! HE! WHO! IS IN THE WATERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!

Told ya Les Miles’ came into possession of a Papyrus Containing The Spell To Preserve Its Possessor Against Attacks From He Who Is In The Water, which is just translated Egyptian/Death Metal for “person holding this paper has the spell to protect against crocodile attacks.”

Thursday Game
Oregon -24  vs. Cal
Predicted score: Oregon 49, Cal 30          Actual score: Oregon 43, Cal 15
Straight up (SU): Won; Against the spread (ATS): Lost 

Just Sue It! got throttled pretty well by Just Do it! TheMichael James went for 200+ rushing again (239, to be precise) & Cal blew a halftime lead amidts the 2nd half onslaught of Oregon’s Sweatshop Speedsters.  Oregonna probably win the Pac12… wocka wocka wocka.

Friday Game
Boise St. -21 at Fresno St. 
Predicted score: Boise St. 41, Fresno St. 21          Actual score: Boise St. 57, Fresno St. 7
SU: Won; ATS: Lost

Well, so much for that Fletch joke about “nobody goes to Fresno anymore,” b/c Boise certainly went to Fresno & basically razed the place to the ground.   Since I didn’t see the game, I don’t know what else to say other than Boise State must’ve been a herd of Thunderhorse(s).

Saturday’s Games
Oklahoma -10 “at” Texas 
Predicted score: Oklahoma 34, Texas 21          Actual score: Oklahoma 55, Texas 17 
SU: Won; ATS: Won

Wow, really, Longhorns?  Mack Tulane Brown’s strategy of using McCoy & Shipley 2.0 had disastrous effects on Saturday.  Hey, Mack, you should’ve found a VY 2.0.  Duh.  2.0s, you’re doing it wrong.  Landry Jones & OU’s defense had their way with Texas all afternoon & the game got ugly early.  OU definitely looks a good bet for those of them who have them voted #1 right now, which they are in the Coaches’ Poll.

LSU -14 vs. Florida
Predicted score: LSU 23, Florida 7          Actual score: LSU 41, Florida 11 
SU: Won; ATS: Won

There was a lot of “YES! In the face!” in this game.  From scoring a sweet 46 yd. bomb from General Captain Sergeant Lee on the 2nd play from scrimmage for LSU to LSU running down UF’s throat all afternoon to, oh yes, a mutherscratchin’ jump pass.  Tim Tebow didn’t invent it but he re-popularized into myth. Well, Timmay, JJ Headkicker & The Hat says, “YES! In the face!”  Now, run along Moosechamp & go eat your incredibly overrated burritos at Burrito Bros.  Oh, not before, like your master $aban, you throw your players under the bus.  In this case, for not covering Crocodile Puntee on the fake punt.  A fake punt AFTER you took a procedure penalty & made Miles rekick (YES! In the face!).  Of course, Honey Badger had a YES! In the face! moment as he is wont to do also.

Crocodile Puntee struts into the end zone! I hope the North Melbourne Kangaroos pick him up.  Come on you, ‘Roos!

Notre Dame -16.5 vs. Air Force
Predicted Score:  Notre Dame 31, Air Force 20          Actual score: Notre Dame 59, Air Force 33
SU: Won; ATS: Lost 

Well, I thought Air Force’s running attack would be able to run enough clock to keep this game somewhat close.  Apparently, I was wrong.  I guess self-destruction got me again!

Georgia -1 at Tennessee
Predicted score: Georgia 23, Tennessee 21          Actual score: Georgia 20, Tennessee 12 
SU: Won; ATS: Won 

Tyler Bray fractured his thumb in this one (which is good tidings for LSU next week!) & Georgia won which puts them in good stead for the SEC East running.  If Floriduh doesn’t find some QB play following their 2 back-to-back blowouts, The World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party may actually go to the ‘Dawgs this year.

Nebraska -10.5 vs. Ohio St.
Predicted score: Nebraska 31, Ohio St. 14          Actual score:  Nebraska 34, Ohio St. 27
SU: Won; ATS: Lost

Rex Burkheart! Rex Burkheart!  Oh my, what a comeback by the ‘Huskers & Rex Burkheart!  Yes, I know his name is Rex Burkhead but he runs with heart!  Which is code for “white running back.”  Ohio St. crapped their pants & is now 0-2 in B1g 10+X play which = me lulzing a lot.

Virginia Tech -7.5 vs. Miami (FL)
Predicted score: Miami (FL), Virginia Tech 17          Actual score: Virginia Tech 38, Miami (FL) 35 
SU: Lost; ATS: Won 

Can you believe I made a Virginga Tech pick & didn’t even make an Assneck reference in the Nuggetz?  Man, how the mighty Curtísimo has fallen.  Well, I almost picked the upset but then again I once almost slept with….. well, nevermind.

Texas A&M -8 at Texas Tech
Predicted score:  Texas A&M 32, Texas Tech 23          Actual score: Texas A&M 45, Texas Tech 40
SU: Won; ATS: Lost

SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC!

Arkansas -10 vs. Auburn
Predicted score:  Arkansas 34, Auburn 31          Actual score: Arkansas 38, Auburn 14
SU: Won; ATS: Lost

 Crystal Asteriks shattered in Fayetteville as the Tigerwareagleplainsmenasteriskscheaters got awful QB play to offset outstanding rushing days from Michael Dyer & Manitoba McCalebb.  Pig Sooey’s Tyler Wilson had another banner day passing for the Hogs who scored 31 unanswered points to overwhelm Chiznik’s charges.  Well, Auburn did have an answer but it came out “derp derp derp herpa derp derp herpa derp derp herpa derp!!”

*          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *

Weekly record- SU: 9-1; ATS: 4-6
Season record- SU: 29-11, .725; ATS: 15-25, .375

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Comments
  1. curtisimo says:

    Notice Tigah fans mock-chomping in the jump pass clip too, Gaturs! MOCK CHOMP!

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