How Does The EPL Table Look After Two Match Weeks?

Posted: August 27, 2012 in Arsenal, Soccer
Tags: , , , , , ,

Well, headline, I’m glad you asked because I was wondering the same thing.  As you can see below it’s still Armageddon for Arsenal as they sit in twelfth place with no goals, NO goals, NO GOALS! GOALAGEDDON!

 

Pl. Team GP W D L Pts GF GA GD
1 Chelsea 3 3 0 0 9 8 2 6
2 Swansea City 2 2 0 0 6 8 0 8
3 Everton 2 2 0 0 6 4 1 3
4 West Bromwich Albion 2 1 1 0 4 4 1 3
5 Manchester City 2 1 1 0 4 5 4 1
6 Fulham 2 1 0 1 3 7 3 4
7 Manchester United 2 1 0 1 3 3 3 0
8 Wigan Athletic 2 1 0 1 3 2 2 0
9 Newcastle United 2 1 0 1 3 2 3 -1
10 West Ham United 2 1 0 1 3 1 3 -2
11 Stoke City 2 0 2 0 2 1 1 0
12 Arsenal 2 0 2 0 2 0 0 0
13 Sunderland 1 0 1 0 1 0 0 0
14 Tottenham Hotspur 2 0 1 1 1 2 3 -1
15 Reading 2 0 1 1 1 3 5 -2
16 Liverpool 2 0 1 1 1 2 5 -3
17 Norwich City 2 0 1 1 1 1 6 -5
18 Queen’s Park Rangers 2 0 1 1 1 1 6 -5
19 Southampton 2 0 0 2 0 2 5 -3
20 Aston Villa 2 0 0 2 0 1 4 -3

Anyway, I currently see some Sp*rs & some Liverpoop beneath us at the moment as well, which makes me go LOL.  No goals scored & you’re still beneath us?  I guess you truly will never walk alone, dopes.

As luck would have it Liverpool is our next opponent at Anfield next week, so we get to hear that crappy Rogers & Hammerstein show tunes song prior to the match.  Hear that, Liverpool?  Your club song is a show tune.  How many Tonys do you have with all your European Cups?

And if I was still a betting man, I’d put money on El Perro Langosta winning a PK this weekend (Howard Webb is officiating the match, after all).

Luís Suárez seen here partnering giant photoshop-headed Andy Carroll

Oh yeah, we’re apparently still  on the trail of Yohan Cabaye, Yann M’Vila, Etienne Capoue, Ibrahim Afellay & every other midfielder that’s kicked a ball in France (did you know Wenger is French?) or Spain in the last 11 years.  I have a sneaking suspicion with all of our midfielders coming back soon, which Arsène Wenger made a point to highlight the other week, any signing here will be of the old “um, who? I have to look him up,” super-scout variety that Le Boss used to drop on us every summer.  Or I could be crazy.  Both are solid bets, I think.

We’re also apparently linked with Nicolai Boilesen, a fullback for Ajax.  I don’t know that much about him other than he hasn’t played too much for Ajax in his time there, but I would still trust our scouting network to know something we don’t & not only be taking a flyer on someone just because he plays for a specific club with certain prestige.

Anyway, as I’ve said before, it’ll behoove us to move people on before we get people in, so this week should be interesting since Wenger has hinted both overtly & subtly that we could be seeing two more signings.

Updated signing/departures list (updates in red):
Confirmed signings: Santi Cazorla (Málaga), Olivier Giroud (Montpellier), Lukas Podolski (1. FC Köln)
Confirmed departures (includes U21s & U19s): Benik Afobe (Bolton Wanderers- loan), Manuel Almunia (Watford), Kyle Bartley (Swansea City), Pedro Botelho (Atlético Paranaense), George Brislen-Hall (Norwich City), Alban Bunjaku (Sevilla), James Campbell (Dundee United), Joel Campbell (Real Betís-loan), Tom Cruise (Torquay United), Denílson (São Paulo-loan), Samuel Galindo (Lugo-loan), Ben Glasgow (Stoke City), Gavin Hoyte (Dagenham & Redbridge), Sean McDermott (Sandnes Ulf), Jeffrey Monakana (Preston North End), Rhys Murphy (Telstar Velsen), Oğuzhan Özyakup (Beşiktaş), Ryo Miyaichi (Wigan Athletic- loan), Alex Song (Barcelona), Robin van Persie (Manchester United), Carlos Vela (Real Sociedad), Sanchez Watt (released- Carlisle United?), Wellington Silva (Ponferradina- loan)

Likely signings: ?
Likely departures: Andrei Arshavin (Al-Sadd [Qatar], Fulham, Galatasaray, Reading, Zenit Saint-Petersburg), Niklas Bendtner (Galatasaray, AC Milan, Inter-Milan, Spartak Moscow), Marouane Chamakh (Beşiktaş, Fiorentina, Málaga, Rubin Kazan, Tottenham Hotspur, Valencia-loan), Denílson (AC Milan), Łukasz Fabiański, Vito Mannone (Hull City), Chu/Ju-Young Park (Al-Ain [UAE], Blackburn Rovers, Celta Vigo), Sébastian Squillaci (Bastia, Olympiakos Piraeus)

Possible signings: Ibrahim Afellay (Barcelona), Lucas Biglia (RSC Anderlecht), Nicolai Boilesen (Ajax Amsterdam), Yohan Cabaye (Newcastle United), Etienne Capoue (Toulouse), Tongo Doumbia (Rennes), Omar El-Haddouri (Brescia), Cheikh M’Bengue (Toulouse), Stéphane Mbia (Olympique Marseille), Philippe Mèxes (AC Milan), Yann M’Vila (Rennes), Mbaye Niang (Caen), Steven Nzonzi (Blackburn Rovers), Paulinho (Corinthians), Jese Rodriguez (Real Madrid), Luke Shaw (Southampton), Cheick Tioté (Newcastle United), Kenneth Udjus (Sogndal), Emiliano Viviano (Palermo), Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa (Montpellier)
Possible departures: Daniel Boateng (loan), Johann Djourou (Napoli), Conor Henderson (Charlton Athletic-loan), Henri Lansbury, Ignasi Miquel (Brighton & Hove Albion- loan), Aaron Ramsey (Fulham), Theo Walcott (Liverpool, Southampton)

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