Archive for August, 2011


So I sit here on the eve of College Foosball season (in the Central & Eastern time zones it’s currently College Foosball Day) waiting for College Foosball Day (Observed) [Saturday].  Much has gone on this offseason with all manners of scandals on top of your regular Fulmer Cup shenanigans.  Which, oh by the way was won by Auburn this year in dominating fashion as well.  War Damn Legal!  Ohio St.’s Terrelle Pryor left for the NFL after jerseygate, Oregon may be in hot water for association with scout/mentor/coach/creepo Willie Lyles, LSU beats up decorated war heroes & Miami apparently had orgiastic parties that would apparently make even Romans blush.  Which is scary b/c those Romans fucked just about everything.  Including marble statues I think.

Texas A&M also left the Big 12, only to say, “just kidding maybe later ok we really are soon bye not really yes really we hate you Texas bye.”

But, all that tabloid stuff is over & it’s time to get to the meat & potatoes of why we follow football… which is actual football.  On the field.  You’ll have to allow me a moment to give a shout out to my former colleague The Hand.  When last The Nuggetz graced the cyberspace The Hand no doubt had you all captivated with his youtube videos dispensing the picks.  But alas, The Hand was arrested & seized without lawful charges or due process during the World Cup in South Africa for buying hash off of an undercover cop.  The cops didn’t want to hear anything about The Hand’s excuse thinking he was buying hash browns when the cop said hash.  Thus, The Hand has been toiling away in a Vuvuzela sweat shop in the back country of South Africa appealing to UN delegates for his release, unfortunately so far, to no avail.  We hope one day The Hand will be granted his freedom, however.  Godspeed, Hand.

It being Labor Day weekend, there’s games on Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday AND Monday.  And the games on weekdays don’t even involve crap like Conference USA or the AFC West!  Long time Nuggeteers will no doubt notice the change in format both from email to blog as well as we’re no longer going to a strict 10 game/picks per week format.  I may put all the week’s picks in one post, I may spread them out over several.  It’s all on the fly now, bitches.  It’s all fast & loose now.  Like Eddie Felsen.

Eddie Felsen knows who the Cam Newton money runner is.
He also made out with your mother before she married your dad.

To the picks! (From now on wording will be favored towards the favorite.  If oyu have reading comprehension skills, you can figure it out right after you put on the big boy breeches, big boy)

Thursday
Mississipi St. -30 at Memphis
Oh my lordy Jeebus!  The End Times are nigh indeed if Mississippi St. is a 4+ TD favorite against anybody with a pulse!  Granted Memphis aren’t what nearly what they were when they had De Angelo Williams or John Curtis’ own, Danny Wimprine, at QB several years ago.  But it’s certainly a sign of the changing times when Mississippi St. has a banner year & comes in the next season as a huge favorite after NOT paying for Cam Newton to go there.  That’s how you know it’s crazy.  Granted, the $cam Newton case just would’ve been too obvious to not get caught when Mississippi St. would’ve pipped Oregon for the National title last year if Newton had gone there.  Although how many people at Mississippi St. thought they were offering 180k for JUICE Newton?  I bet a lot.  “Hey, Earlene!  Some black fella is offering the Juice Newton to the ‘Dawgs for 180,000 dollars!  Dust off my Juice Newton vinyl, darlin’, we’re gonna be playing with the Queen of Hearts!”   Mississippi St. 38, Memphis 14

Friday
TCU -4.5 at Baylor
Lache Seastrunk will be transferring to Baylor next year from Oregon & recently tweeted this bizarro quote upon his Oregon exit:

Host: Oregon’s a place that’s had a great run, no question about it. … Looking back on it, do you feel like you made the right decision to go there?

Seastrunk: I felt like I did. When I first intentionally went there, I felt like God wanted to be there. But God also does things — God also pulls you out of the storm before it happens. So I felt like something was about to go down and God just wanted me to get up out of there, so… And I feel like I’m back home where people love me and generally care about me and I’m around my family.

Capice?  God told Lache to get out of Oregon.  Not sure why the Lord led Lache to the land ruled by the Greek goddess of victory in the 1st place but God was originally Jewish anyway, so who am I to question His Righteousness over his motives however seemingly confusing to us mortals they may be?  The Baptists at Baylor have no doubt found favor in the sight of the Lord for their soon to be blessings of Lache Seastrunk.  However, that’s next season.  This season the Andy Dalton-less Horny Christian Toads still have a stout defense & will have enough firepower to overpower Baylor in Waco.  It won’t be a blowout in Waco like an infamous ATF blowout in ’93 but it’ll be enough to see TCU cover.  Good thing there was no BCS back in ’93 otherwise that ATF squad probably would’ve snuck into a BCS Bowl.  Or just raided one.     TCU 34, Baylor 24

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Saturday’s & Sunday’s games on Thursday or Friday, Nuggeteers!  Until then, respek!

Respek Knuckles… when a High Five or Hand Shake just won’t do!

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After a 2 year break, Chuckles the Angry Wolf’s Tasty Nuggetz are making a return to the cyberwebs & it’s back in bloglobal format as the cacophonous, cornucopia of chuckledom could not be contained any longer in e-mail land.  That & I was getting sick of all you people with real responsibilities telling me to not send stuff to your work e-mail.  Well, Johnny Q. Public, I ain’t exactly gonna send stuff to your personal email b/c I don’t want to clog the space that’s reserved for your porn.  No, no, not pornography but what the news has become- weather/natural disaster porn, murder/crime porn, scandal porn, Armageddon porn, financial crisis porn & on & on until there’s more scandals than Peter North got jizz (if you steal that line MCA, I will kick your ass all the way to Tibet).

But enough of that rubbish & poppycock! B/c it’s THAT time of year.  The time of year when the beer gets colder & more plentiful, when all manners of mammal find their way to the grill to become delicious, delicious murder for carnivores & young athletes who may or may not have been able to go to college on their intellect hurl themselves at each other with much violence & vigor.  IT IS FOOTBALL SEASON, MUTHA FUCKAS.  It’s better than Christmas.  It’s better than Easter.  It’s better than Survive Hurricane Irene The Storm Of The Century Media Day.  It’s the time of year when your friends become your enemies, school rivalries become figuratively life & death & your mother will catch just as much flak from you as an opposing fan of a given team if she even has an inkling of pity for another player of said team.

But, like all good tantric sessions this initial post is just setting the stage for the moment when you can’t take anymore & you say “fuck foreplay, I’m going in!”  The moment before the football orgy of the next several months begins.  Just for you to get the blog address.  So, stay tuned to this bloggy blog b/c Scandal Season, or as old timers used to call it, “the off-season” is over.  It’s game week.  It’s Geaux time.  Tell the wife, the kids, the mistress, the lawyer you’ll be back in February… ok, actually with all the scandals flying around the lawyer can come along, but only if he brings the single malt Scotch & the paralegal with the ample bosom that helped pay for her online paralegal course.

So, stay tuned to this blog, bookmark it, RSS feed it, subscribe, delete it, forget it ever existed, whatever.  Later this week, Tasty Nuggetz proper begins…

The seeming theme of the offseason in College Foosball!