In Digital Fantasy Land, No Promotion For “Bristolona”

Win or lose, Bristol Rovers ain’t nuthin’ to fuck with!

Not even the near mythical status in the Football Manager 2010 mythos of Aaron Feckin’ Doran  could help Bristol Rovers, aka Bristolona under my guidance, face Reading in the Championship Promotion Playoff Final in England’s famous Wembley Stadium. Thus, the final loss made sad Curtísimo sad. 😦

We lost to Reading, 3-1, despite taking an early 1-0 lead from a freekick goal midfielder Sam Hewson snuck inside the near post.  It was about damn time we scored a freekick goal, by the way, sheesh.  I need more goals from the center of midfield next year (only had 9 total, I think) to stand any chance of automatic promotion!

Anyway, the early goal only served to stir up Reading like a hornet’s nest & we couldn’t do much after the first half-hour of the match.  Reading equalized in the 37th minute through James Harper, a former Arsenal youth & reserve product, who took advantage of an error from Tiago Silva in the center of defense.  I’ve been playing the Brazilian, who is normally a left back or left midfielder, there because no one else plays well in that left central defense spot.  Well, after one good game in the Stoke second leg encounter, TS played like shite there too.  He pressed the ball out wide when Adam Eckersley, our left fullback, already had the man covered, allowing space for Harper to make a run where Reading found him as he strolled into the box to shoot home inside the far post for 1-1.

Reading’s winner & second goal came from centerback, Alex Pearce, on a header from a corner.  The Reading defender lost our marker, whom I think  he was supposed to be either Sammy Traoré or Francis Coquelin.  Either way, Pearce got free & banged a header home from several yards out to put Reading up for good in the 65th minute.

After going down, 2-1, I played more attacking but couldn’t find a way through.  I threw on all my substitutions & we started to get a few half-chances or long shots here or there but ultimately couldn’t get a goal.  Then, with just three minutes remaining our promotion hopes were well & truly killed when Grzegorz Rasiak, Reading’s Polish striker, poked home for, 3-1, after pouncing home on a rebound following a Simon Church shot from inside the box.  Church looked to be offside in the build-up & my defense went a bit berserk at the linesman & he looked offside to me as well, but at this point it made no difference as your remonstrations never get a call overturned.

The Bristol Rovers club crest pointing the way to a Wembley loss…

It’s probably for the best as we’re likely a year away from competing in the Premier League anyway & I more or less wanted to play another year in the Championship to better season the team & build it up with a few more signings where we could perhaps make a run at the Championship championship.  A competition so nice, it’s named twice. Wocka wocka wocka.

So ends a successful season albeit with a disappointing end in hallowed Wembley Stadium.

The dreary match stats:

More Ljungberg Love, Poll; Orc City Poll; COYG

Here’s a little more info on just retired Arsenal legend, Freddie Ljungberg.

Overall, Ljungberg played with Halmstads BK, Arsenal, West Ham United, Seattle Sounders, Chicago Fire, Celtic & Shimizu S-Pulse in a career that spanned 18 years overall.

His league totals (387 appearances, 62 goals) break down like this:

Halmstads BK:          79 appearances, 10 goals
Arsenal:              215 appearances, 46 goals
West Ham United:   25 appearances, 2 goals
Seattle Sounders:    37 appearances, 2 goals
Chicago Fire:           15 appearances, 2 goals
Celtic:                     7 appearances, 0 goals
Shimizu S-Pulse:        8 appearances, 0 goals

His overall club totals equated to 502 appearances, 88 goals & Ljungberg tallied a further 75 appearances & 14 goals for his country, Sweden, which he also captained from 2006-2008.

Once again, Freddie, thanks for the “fuckin’ excellent” memories.

Would you like a poll about the Orc City match today too, Nuggeteerz?  Sure you do!  Plus, here’s an article concerning some interesting trends in officiating in Stoke/Orc City matches last year.

The Orc City Poll:

Lastly, some new transfer tidbits to report as we’re supposedly going to launch a £15 million bid for Newcastle’s Cheick Tioté.  Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa of Montpellier has also emerged as a potential transfer target but Milan has been sniffing around him already, so as always, we’ll see what ends up happening.

Hopefully the Gunners come away from the match with all 3 points today!

COME ON, YOU GUNNERS!

Updated signing/departures list (updates in red):
Confirmed signings: Santi Cazorla (Málaga), Olivier Giroud (Montpellier), Lukas Podolski (1. FC Köln)
Confirmed departures (includes U21s & U19s): Benik Afobe (Bolton Wanderers- loan), Manuel Almunia (Watford), Kyle Bartley (Swansea City), Pedro Botelho (Atlético Paranaense), George Brislen-Hall (Norwich City), Alban Bunjaku (Sevilla), James Campbell (Dundee United), Joel Campbell (Real Betís-loan), Tom Cruise (Torquay United), Denílson (São Paulo-loan), Samuel Galindo (Lugo-loan), Ben Glasgow (Stoke City), Gavin Hoyte (Dagenham & Redbridge), Sean McDermott (Sandnes Ulf), Jeffrey Monakana (Preston North End), Rhys Murphy (Telstar Velsen), Oğuzhan Özyakup (Beşiktaş), Ryo Miyaichi (Wigan Athletic- loan), Alex Song (Barcelona), Robin van Persie (Manchester United), Carlos Vela (Real Sociedad), Sanchez Watt (released- Carlisle United?), Wellington Silva (Ponferradina- loan)

Likely signings: 
Likely departures: Andrei Arshavin (Al-Sadd [Qatar], Fulham, Galatasaray, Reading, Zenit Saint-Petersburg), Niklas Bendtner (Galatasaray, AC Milan, Inter-Milan, Spartak Moscow), Marouane Chamakh (Beşiktaş, Fiorentina, Rubin Kazan, Tottenham Hotspur, Valencia-loan), Denílson (AC Milan), Łukasz Fabiański, Vito Mannone (Hull City), Chu/Ju-Young Park (Al-Ain [UAE], Blackburn Rovers, Celta Vigo), Sébastian Squillaci (Bastia, Olympiakos Piraeus)

Possible signings: Lucas Biglia (RSC Anderlecht), Etienne Capoue (Toulouse), Tongo Doumbia (Rennes), Omar El-Haddouri (Brescia), Cheikh M’Bengue (Toulouse), Stéphane Mbia (Olympique Marseille), Philippe Mèxes (AC Milan), Yann M’Vila (Rennes), Mbaye Niang (Caen), Steven Nzonzi (Blackburn Rovers), Paulinho (Corinthians), Jese Rodriguez (Real Madrid), Luke Shaw (Southampton), Cheick Tioté (Newcastle United), Kenneth Udjus (Sogndal), Emiliano Viviano (Palermo), Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa (Montpellier)
Possible departures: Daniel Boateng (loan), Johann Djourou (Napoli), Conor Henderson (Charlton Athletic-loan), Henri Lansbury, Ignasi Miquel (Brighton & Hove Albion- loan), Aaron Ramsey (Fulham), Theo Walcott (Liverpool, Southampton)

Kill The Orcs! Slay The Orcs! Destroy The Orcs!

Arsenal face their newest bogey side, following in the footsteps of sides like Bolton previously, in Stoke City (aka Orc City) at the Britannia Stadium tomorrow, 1:30 local time.  Unfortunately for me that means a freaking 4:30 AM kickoff time, which further means a 4 AM wakeup, so I can get the internet feed cranking & the coffee brewing.

Stoke, in recent years has given Arsenal fits inside the Britannia (this includes a 3-1 drubbing in the FA Cup in 2010) due to their very direct, physical, aerial style of play.  To be fair, Stoke have a style that they play well & they play to their strengths- height & physicality on set pieces.  To be unfair, they play a gimmicky, pseudo-soccer mixed with some thuggish tackling that more resembles rugby, hence “the Orcs” moniker.  You have a problem with that, Potters?  Then maybe don’t boo guys who are the ones who receive the injury.  Stay classy, Stoke!

However, Stoke’s rugby-like advantage should be a bit minimized this year as the Premier League pitch dimensions have been standardized this year.  So, Rory Delap & his magic towel’s super throw-ins, will be a bit less threatening, albeit still being a very dangerous threat nonetheless.  So, not giving up cheap set pieces will be a priority.

Stoke’s frontline, regardless of losing their narrow pitch will be led by Jonathan Walters, who is more mobile than he looks for a big man (I believe he’s 6’3″), & as the obligatory heading & physical prowess which has given our defenders fits in recent years, & one, Peter Crouch.  Crouch, once dubber “Bambi On Ice,” though often clumsy looking, is like twelve feet tall (although he only weighs about 125 lbs.) & is actually capable of the odd moment of brilliance in here & there.  Oh & here too.  Though Crouch is probably best none for this.

Delap has to get FAA clearance for his throw-ins…

The official site has a decent scouting report as well as a preview of the Orcs match.

For Arsenal, the news is Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain will be back in the team but Laurent Koscielny remains out with a calf bother.  The latter’s absence (he’s due back next week against Liverpool) means another start for Per Mertesacker & the German’s height will be key in facing Stoke’s aerial assault.  The tall defender’s stats in the air, however, aren’t especially good for someone with Per’s stature.

Arsenal’s possession play will be a big key in this match since Stoke can’t pump balls into the box if they don’t have the ball….s.  So, Arsenal will do well to have both Arteta & Cazorla’s passing & calm on the ball both be of high quality tomorrow.   The possession & passing will also be key following Arsène Wenger’s comments post-Sunderland that he was not happy with the speed of play of passing in the attacking third.

Our finishing obviously has to be much better than it was against Sunderland.  We must take our chances when they come & that will go a long way to keeping the mouth-breathing, injury-booing Stoke fans at bay as the Britannia can become a bit of a seething cauldron when the thug-cheerers are at full voice despite it being on the smallish side for a Premier League ground with a capacity of 28,383, ranking 14th in the EPL.

So it all adds up to a potential Arsenal lineup that likely looks like this:

Szczesny

Djourou — Mertesacker — Vermaelen (c) — Gibbs

Diaby

Arteta —— Cazorla

Oxlae-Chamberlain — Giroud ————- Podolski

Injuries
Arsenal: Koscielny (calf), Rosicky (tendon), Sagna (leg), Frimpong (knee), Wilshere (ankle)

Stoke: Pennant (thigh), Whitehead (suspended)

Prediction
I’m thinking Stoke having to play on a bigger field at home really negates their set piece advantage, especially as I don’t think they’ll have much of the possession then in recent years in Arsenal’s travels there.  Having both Mikel Arteta & Santi Cazorla in that aspect will really help out tomorrow.  Stoke will likely play forward a little more than they would since they’re at home & if Wenger drilled passing speed into the boys this week, that could be Stoke’s downfall as we can nick one on the break & make them play where we can then apply even more pressure with our possession & passing style. We’re probably good for a weak goal given up though.      Arsenal 2, Stoke City 1

And finally, let’s Destroy The Orcs!:

Kill the Orcs!
Slay the Orcs!
Destroy the Orcs!

Not Much New Today

It’s much the same today as it’s been in recent days for Arsenal- no new signings & just waiting patiently for Robingeddon to come although there was the OMG-Shirt-Number-Crisis today as Podolski hasn’t officially been given a number because he’s supposedly holding out for #10 when/if van Persie leaves…

Um, please explain, Media, how this is a crisis?  Either van Persie is leaving- which has been rumored for, oh, I don’t know, several weeks now- & Podolski will have the #10 shirt or van Persie stays & Podolski picks a another number.  Yes, complete end-of-the-world stuff there.  How ever will the club make it through this new crisis?!

Never mind that a club can de-register & then re-register a player to a different number during the season, but don’t let the facts get in the media’s way of whipping all you knee-jerk reactors into a frenzied rabble of humanity!!  If that’s a crisis, or Arsenal’s “near loss” the other day a crisis, then what is this for Chelsea?

“Spend sum feckin muney, Wengermans!!” (HT: TJ)

Meanwhile the BBC is urging van Persie to go to ManUre.  Wherever he goes, I hope his injury history crops up again.  There, I said it.  Yes, even if “goes” to us (by staying).  Maybe it’ll slap some humility into the Dutchman.

Speaking of mad, frenzied rabble earlier, this LSU article will likely have reactionary Les Miles haters & knob-slurping Sabanites whipped into a nice psychotic froth with ideas of “Why dat Dummyhead Miles is running d’ball when we got the Mettenchrist & his big cannon arm?!! Throw it deep, Dummyhead Miles!”

I don’t care how we score, running, passing, kick returns, RUNNING THE OPTION, OH NOES!, whatever.  Just win, dammit.

And even though the utter & outright naked corruption & cheating done at the last Olympics in Beijing (I’m looking at you, Boxing) pretty much burnt me out on caring about the Olympics too much (save for from Lolo Jones), here’s a story about the U.S. Olympic Team’s chosen flag bearer for the opening ceremonies.  And she’s a babe named Mariel Zagunis.  A babe who is a fencer.  So watch your manners around her, boys, lest she slices & dices your manhood.

Oh & here’s another Olympic article about the IOC hoping against hope that the memory of the Munich Olympics massacre of Israeli athletes will just go away & hope you don’t notice by Dan Wetzel.  Wetzel does top-notch work & he hits another home run with this one.  Everybody knows the IOC, much like FIFA, has been run by crooks & cronies for years who care more about kickbacks & gifts than any actual sporting spectacle or having to get involved in actual politics surrounding the Olympics.

Lolo Jones, LSU alum & World Class hurdler & also a complete babe

RVP RAGE!

Man, did I find a gem for the kind of frothing at the mouth supporter that soccer is known for.  To say this guy went a bit mental is an understatement.  He went so crazy that he sold his Robin van Persie digital trading card in some stupid FIFA 12 card game.  Wow.  You showed him, goofball.  A goofball in a red Yankees hat, mind you.  Hey, stupid, did you know the Yankees have a merchandise agreement with Manchester United & that the Steinbrenner children were looking to buy Sp*rs?  Nope.  Because you’re an idiot.  You’re probably the kind of YouTube poster that goes by some stupid ass user moniker like “ArsenalSouljah,” or “GunnerBoyz69,” or “Numba1Gunna.”  Anyway, thanks for the rant.  You look like a tool.  You’re most likely in the “SPEND SUM FECKIN MUNEY!!1!” portion of our supporter base.  Now go & buy some Denver merch, twit, since those are the teams Kroenke own in the States.  DERP.

So, as you can see there’s a humorous bit of van Persie fallout with the possible real fallout ramifications here.  If van persie wants to leave it doesn’t bother me as much as it would some people although if he ends up at Man U, I will be a bit miffed.  Mainly because those cocks up at Man U don’t need anymore help from the likes of van Persie.  They just need to buy some backup for Howard Webb.  I suggest Mike Dean or that chubby cockass, Phil Dowd.

Com’ join the revolootion at Man U, Rob’o

This way to Man U & cheating cuntery, Robin

Ver Mae-Len, Chinese Warrior

I know Kung Fuuuuuuuuuuu! Actually, I don’t but Thomas Vermaelen might?  Arsenal.com revealed they got the idea from banners seen in July 2011 in Hangzhou Stadium:

In July 2011, we saw some incredible banners created by supporters and hung up at the Hangzhou Stadium, including one of Vermaelen as a Shaolin Kung-Fu Master (emphasis mine).

The video comes just days before the Asian tour which the players depart for on Saturday.  The same day Robin van Persie’s fate is supposed to be settled.  I guess we’ll all know by whether he accompanies the team or not.  You can also watch the tour live on Arsenal.com with their Arsenal Player membership.  No, I don’t know the financial ramifications.  It used to be like $70 a year back around 2005 or so when I was last a member.

On the tour we face a Malaysia XI, Mansour City (with van Persie? in $ky blue?) & Kitchee FC of Hong Kong.  No, I can’t confirm if Kitchee was named after the baby-talk phrase of “kitchee kitchee kooooooo.”  Hopefully, this will be the 1st forays into action for Lukas Podolski & Olivier Giroud.  The two strikers also look to be Arsène’s only signings as the logistics of getting players to Asia following a signing in the next few days would seem to be a pain in the rump.  Any subsequent signings would likely be integrated into the team slowly unlike last year when the deadline day signings were pressed into action more through desperation than anything else.

Also, the club announced a handful of 1st team players will travel to Nigeria for some p.r. events as a make peace for their recent cancellation of the Nigeria friendly. Tomas Rosicky, Bacary Sagna, Per Mertesaecker & Lukas Podolski will be the players set to travel to Africa & do some pressing of the flesh & photo ops.

Finally, a younger Arsenal XI will face Boreham Wood FC in the annual friendly against the semi-professional side from the Conference South located in the northern outskirts of London on Saturday.

Come on you, Gunners!

Should he stay or should he go nooooooowwwww?

Is The Ganso To Arsenal Rumor Gaining Traction; RvP Letter Just A Re-Signing Tactic?

Twitter was a buzz the other day with a seemingly, somewhat outlandish rumor that Santos’ Paulo Henrique Ganso was transferring to Arsenal.  The rumor came from what was found to be a fake Twitter account by a person reporting to be a journalist for a Brazilian media outlet.

So, it seemed just a typical silly season rumor to get people all abuzz & hits on people’s website or follows on a Twiiter account.  However, there seems to be a little smoke emanating from this rumor.  We know Ganso will be leaving Santos as he’s said he wants a move to Europe & Santos’ president has confirmed that comment:

12.35 BST Santos’ vice-president, Odilio Rodrigues, has told Lancenet: “Ganso doesn’t want to play for Santos anymore. We learned that from the club’s president Luis Alvaro last Thursday. Ganso has lost his interest in Santos so we won’t try to keep him anymore.”

Nothing there, obviously, about Arsenal but in the same ESPN transfer blog there’s:

18.57 BST The rumours that Ganso could sign for Arsenal have been around for a little while but seem to be gaining ground, with a couple of reports in English newspapers today. The remark from Santos vice-president Odilio Rodrigues (see the entry at 12.35 BST) appears to have helped this one gain traction.

Again, nothing specifically about Arsenal & perhaps it’s nothing but wishful thinking & I generally don’t like to engage every single transfer rumor because the vast majority of them are just that- a rumor.  However, I’ll indulge Ganso to Arsenal if nothing other than he’s Brazilian & there always seems to be a bit of “magic” with those guys & it would certainly spiffy up our midfield a bit.

Who knows, if Fulham’s interest in Aaron Ramsey turns out to be genuine, maybe there might be a move for Ganso on the cards?  Wishful thinking? Probably.  But I’m feeling optimistic today since the club I’m managing in my Football Manager 2010 game, Bristol Rovers, upset those cunts over at Sp*rs in the FA Cup 5th Round last night.  Take that, digi-Twitchy Redknapp! Maltese Messi ain’t nuthing to mess with!

Speaking of optimism, perhaps delusionally so, is it possible RvP’s open letter angling for a move have been nothing more than a similar tactic the hairplugged wonder, Wayne Rooney, pulled on Man U?:

16.29 BST There’s a suggestion in the Daily Mail that Arsenal believe Robin van Persie is likely to sign a new deal. It could be another Wayne Rooney moment, it appears. Hopefully Arsene will provide a similarly dramatic press conference to accompany it all.

If it is a Rooney moment, quite a petty little maneuver by van Persie & frankly something unbecoming of a captain.  Sigh… This is why I try not to idolize or worship players because most are mercenaries these days.  Strange days, indeed at the Arsenal. Most peculiar, momma!

Updated signing/departures list (updates in red):
Confirmed signings: Olivier Giroud (Montpellier), Lukas Podolski (1. FC Köln)
Confirmed departures: Manuel Almunia (released), George Brislen-Hall (released), Alban Bunjaku (Sevilla), Joel Campbell (Real Betís-loan), Denílson (São Paulo-loan), Gavin Hoyte (released- Dagenham & Redbridge), Sean McDermott (released), Jernade Meade (released), Jeffrey Monakana (Preston North End), Rhys Murphy (Telsar Velsen), Sanchez Watt (released)

Likely signings: ?
Likely departures: Andrei Arshavin (Zenit Saint-Petersburg), Niklas Bendtner, Marouane Chamakh (Fiorentina, Valencia-loan),  Łukasz Fabiański, Vito Mannone (Hull City), Chu/Ju-Young Park, Sébastian Squillaci (Bastia),  Robert van Persie (Juventus/Manchester City), Carlos Vela (Real Sociedad)

Possible signings: Ibrahim Afellay (Barcelona), Hatem Ben Arfa (Newcastle United), Lucas Biglia (RSC Anderlecht), Etienne Capoue (Toulouse), Clint Dempsey (Fulham), Tongo Doumbia (Rennes), Paulo Henrique Ganso (Santos), Stevan Jovetic (Fiorentina), Robert Lewandowski (Borussia Dortmund), Hugo Lloris (Lyon), Victor Moses (Wigan Athletic), Yann M’Vila (Rennes), Mbaye Niang (Caen), Steven Nzonzi (Blackburn Rovers), Salomon Rondon (Málaga), Matías Suárez (RSC Anderlecht), Kenneth Udjus (Sogndal), Emiliano Viviano (Palermo)
Possible departures: Benik Afobe (loan), Johann Djourou (Napoli), Conor Henderson (Charlton Athletic-loan), Henri Lansbury, Ignasi Miquel (Brighton & Hove Albion- loan), Aaron Ramsey (Fulham), Theo Walcott (Chelsea, Juventus, PSG)

Nobody Told Me there be days like these…

Armageddon Everywhere!

Whew, it’s been a long, damn week at work & the work is still to be finished!  17 hour workday on Monday, 10 on Tuesday, 14 yesterday, probably another 12-14 tonight… Ugh.  I hate being in a production field sometimes.

So what have we missed while I was out trying to pay bills?  Let’s start with the good news which is that Arsenal have started their pre-season training this week with all the players apart from those who took part in the Euros returning & getting back into shape with working out & running to build up the fitness levels.  Of course, people will (& have) made much of van Persie’s absence but even on optimal terms where he would’ve re-signed, he’d still be absent b/c of the vacation extensions to Euro participants as aforementioned.  But some people will never let a disaster go uncreated in this day & age of instant info & insinuation on the interwebs.

courtesy of Arsenal.com

Why you just standing there, Wenger! Sign some World Class, DERP DERP!

Speaking of re-signings, one which Arsenal is working hard on currently to happen to avoid another contractageddon like van Persie, is the extension of Laurent Koscielny’s contract to 2017.  His current deal ends in 2014, so to avoid the shenanigans of the last 2 summers, Arsenal look to be moving to tie down Kos, the vague Bart Simpson lookalike.  He had an excellent season last year & looks to be developing into a pretty decent modern style centerback (leaner but quicker & more skill on the ball).

Not so much maybe… but I’m telling you, at times they look a lot alike!

The other big news in Arsenalgeddon is the announcement that Arsenal’s away kit for 2012/13 will be PURPLE!  OMG the sky continues to fall doesn’t it?  Whatever.  Being an LSU alum, I don’t mind the purple.  I know some Gunners will freak out over it, b/c that’s what they do.  There would be an announcement over switching tea ladies & some people would somehow impugn nefarious motives from the Arsenal board over the matter.  Seriously, it’s an away kit.  Who freaking cares if it’s purple, chartreuse or invisible colored.  Wait, what?  You get the point.  Or maybe you don’t .  There’s a lot of dense people out there.

Not the greatest thing in the world but neither are you

On the transfer front, it doesn’t look like Wenger will be in the market for another mega-über-monster-all-world centerback as Kyle Bartley is being promoted to the 1st team for the upcoming season.  If Djourou stays, that will give us 5 centerbacks (Verminator, Kos, Mertesaecker, Djourou & Bartley) which should be enough for the season barring an injury crisis in the middle of defense.  I know we’ve had awful luck with injuries in recent years but at some point fate has to go fuck with other teams you would think.  As for the quality of that group, opinions will obviously differ but I don’t think our questionable defense of recent years is due to talent but rather organization.  Hopefully the appointment of Steve Bould to assistant manager will give a breath of fresh air to that aspect of training.

Bartley has enjoyed dual spells at both Sheffield United & Rangers in Scotland and was also used sparingly at defensive mid at Rangers, so he may prove useful for this upcoming season.  I would think he’d see some time here & there as there’s been rumors that Wenger would like to rotate his central defense more this year & Bartley is most likely too good to play at reserve level save for the odd “staying fit” game here or there.

Bartley vaguely resembles President Obama; how bad can he be, amirite?!

Also, a young French striker, Mbaye Niang has apparently had a trial with Arsenal as well.  He’s 17 years old & had 23 appearances & 2 goals for Caen in Ligue 1 last year but most of those appearances came as a substitute.    People freak out sometimes when we bring in young players “because we need quality!”  “we need World Class DERP! DERP!,” but we also run a reserves & a U-19 side & it never hurts to bring somebody in for a trial.  It’s just a trial, freakout people.  Relax. Go stress out over the purple away kit instead.  Or sit & wait for the next “crisis” to hit…

Updated signing/departures list (updates in red):
Confirmed signings: Olivier Giroud (Montpellier), Lukas Podolski (1. FC Köln)
Confirmed departures: Manuel Almunia (released), George Brislen-Hall (released), Alban Bunjaku (Sevilla), Joel Campbell (Real Betís-loan), Denílson (São Paulo-loan), Gavin Hoyte (released- Dagenham & Redbridge), Sean McDermott (released), Jernade Meade (released), Jeffrey Monakana (Preston North End), Rhys Murphy (Telsar Velsen), Sanchez Watt (released)

Likely signings: ?
Likely departures: Andrei Arshavin (Zenit Saint-Petersburg), Niklas Bendtner, Marouane Chamakh (Fiorentina, Valencia-loan),  Łukasz Fabiański, Vito Mannone (Hull City), Chu/Ju-Young Park, Sébastian Squillaci (Bastia),  Robert van Persie (Juventus/Manchester City), Carlos Vela (Real Sociedad)

Possible signings: Hatem Ben Arfa (Newcastle United), Lucas Biglia (RSC Anderlecht), Etienne Capoue (Toulouse), Clint Dempsey (Fulham), Tongo Doumbia (Rennes), Stevan Jovetic (Fiorentina), Robert Lewandowski (Borussia Dortmund), Hugo Lloris (Lyon), Victor Moses (Wigan Athletic), Yann M’Vila (Rennes), Mbaye Niang (Caen), Steven Nzonzi (Blackburn Rovers), Salomon Rondon (Málaga), Matías Suárez (RSC Anderlecht), Kenneth Udjus (Sogndal), Emiliano Viviano (Palermo)
Possible departures: Benik Afobe (loan), Johann Djourou (Napoli), Conor Henderson (Charlton Athletic-loan), Henri Lansbury, Ignasi Miquel (Brighton & Hove Albion- loan), Aaron Ramsey (Fulham), Theo Walcott (Chelsea, Juventus, PSG)

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Now, for some LSU stuff.  The fine folks over at Andthevalleyshook.com have their Link Gumbo post up & I highly recommend both the site & the weekly Gumbo posting.  It includes an awesome link to the rage of Nick Saban’s daughter. Apparently, Sabanina can either throw down a bit or her “friend” expected her to let up at some point.  Either way, Saban’s daughter, Kristen, put a girl in a hospital with severe injuries & it’s all a bit oddly funny besides the obligatory shock & sadness of it all.  So, I guess you can add Head Coach daughter rage to poisoning historical oaks & teabagging passed out opposing fans to the list of “classy” things Bama fans do.  Yes, I’m sure it’s a minority but it only takes a minority of atom bombs to destroy the world.  So fuck off, Bammers.

Also, CBS Sports has a nice preview of Barkevious Mingo for the upcoming 2012 season.  Between the Mettenchrist & Galactic Emperor, Lord Mingo, I think LSU will be sitting pretty next year.  Unless, of course we have the utter disaster of going 13-1 like last season.

“What you mean, Curtis?! If you ain’t first, you last, boy! “

Yeah, you tell ’em, Ricky Bobby.  Ass.

And finally amongst all the armageddon of my teams, is, of course, BREESAGEDDON.  All your armageddons are belong to my teams apparently.

Czech Republic Vs. Portugal

The Euro Quarterfinals begin today with Tomas Rosicky’s Czech Republic taking on Portugal & their douchey diving duo, Cristiano Ronaldo & Nani Nani Boo Boo.

Nani showing one of his more elaborate dives…

Portugal looks in good form & Cristiano Ronaldo could have had 4 or 5 goals last time out against the Netherlands.  The Portuguese have defeated Denmark & the Netherlands, respectively, folling their opening match loss against Germany.  Ronaldo’s so-so start has seen him burst into form, though he could’ve scored several more than he’s bagged, & included this slick & sick bit of skill:

Messi’s still better, Ronaldo! Bazinga!

The Czechs on the other hand, have scraped past Greece & co-hosts Poland following their 4-1 drubbing at the hands of now bowed out, Russia.  If I were still a betting man, though I will be pulling for the Czechs, I’d have to put money on Portugal to win this one. I’d go for 2-1 or 3-1 to the Iberians.  I still dig Czech chicks though… awhoooooooooooooooo… Czech chicks are porn’s secret weapon! Or… um, so I’ve heard from a friend.  Of a friend.  Who was doing research for um a sociology paper.  Yeah, that’s it, sociology.  Go Czechs!

Anyway, Cristiano Ronaldo, you betta Czech yourself before you wreck yourself!

This should be the Czech Republic’s national anthem… AMIRITE?!

UEFA Showing Where Their Priorities Are

Arsenal’s (hopefully not for long) Niklas Bendtner was fined 100,000 euros (80,000 pounds) for murdering fluffy kittens daring to offend UEFA by having an “illegal sponsor.”  This fine of course was much stiffer than the earlier fine for racism against Italy’s Mario Balotelli as the graphic above explains.  Never let it be said that UEFA don’t have their priorities straight b/c as we all know you never piss off the sponsors & to hell with real problems like fan violence & racism.

The hilarity of this is that of course UEFA have drawn far more attention to Paddy Power (an Irish betting house & aforementioned “illegal sponsor”) than if they would have done nothing, which was probably Paddy Power’s advert scheme all along.  Good job, nincompoops.

UPDATE: Now, UEFA have fined Croatia a sum more similar to Bendtner’s fine but still 20,000 euros less. LOLZ.  So, remember kidz, Offending sponsors still > racism.  With that in mind who will you offend today?