My Laziest Blog Post Ever!

I’ll get you something on the US Mens’ national team victory over Jamaica tonight, 1-0, for tomorrow but with work lately I’ve been kind of zonked when I get home on some nights & tonight is one of them.  By the time you work late, fix something to eat, wash some clothes, it’s already 9:15 & you just know I have to squeeze in some Football Manager time too.  So, with that said here’s the laziest blog post in the world, actually it’s not it’s just a tribute…

Arsenal’s simple passes out of the back lead to our possession dominance in the early season.

Arseblog’s tactics column predicts it won’t be long before Olivier Giroud opens his scoring account.  Dennis Bergkamp & Thierry Henry opened their club accounts versus Southampton.  Guess who we play on Saturday?

Chuks Aneke made his debut for Crewe Alexandra over the weekend.

Diaby sat out France’s game yesterday & was set to do so prior to the match.  Word is he picked up a slight knock.  Knock on wood, because we all know the history with Diaby & injuries…

Alright, there is the laziest blog post.  Hope you had a good 9/11.

 

Arsenal Home & Away Jerseys Have Arrived!

First off, The Mirror brings us hopefully the start of a new media meme (something we Arsenal bloggers have picked up on already)- Steve Bould’s influence on the defensive side of the game for Arsenal.  Despite Arsenal’s coaching staff having been replete with defenders throughout Arsène Wenger’s tenure, Wenger included, Arsenal has had admitted defensive shortfalls in recent years (at differing times- defensive concentration, loss of shape, susceptibility to set pieces, e.g.) but it seems this most recent pre-season a more concerted & concentrated effort to work on the overall team defensive shape & defensive tactics were implemented & it looks like work on that defensive side of the game may be worth a good 9 to 15 points this season more so than trying to replace Traitor van Stapleton’s 30 goals from last term.  Long may the defense’s good early form continue!

With the transfer window shut, loan moves are the only ways players can move from club to club & highly regarded youngster, Chuks Aneke, full name, Chukwuemeka Ademola Amachi Aneke, is moving on loan to League One side, Crewe Alexandra.  Aneke had loan spells last year at Stevenage & Preston North End, respectively.  Both of last year’s loans for the youngster were considered successful  & as he’s been compared, probably somewhat hyperbolically, to a young Yaya Touré before, so I hope he gets plenty of first team action for Crewe & maybe even get into the starting eleven as a regular. 

A player at the club who has been pretty good so far this season is Abou Diaby & he seeks “revenge” for his missing time from injury in the previous seasons.  I know we’re all hoping Diaby stays fit & injury-free & his performances in the opening matches have certainly been encouraging but it’s a good bit of a risk that Wenger has hitched his hopes for the midfield in part on Abou Diaby with his injury record.  Diaby has claimed that his long injury ledger is down to problems with his biomechanics rather than any physical deficiencies or frailties.  It’s certainly an interesting point to consider.  Either way, Diaby’s performance against Liverpool was “majestic,” in the words of one pundit, and showed what he can do when he’s healthy & on song.  Diaby also scored the lone goal yesterday for France so his current form is cause for anticipation for more.

Speaking of the internationals, here’s a full rundown of Arsenal players in internationals yesterday.  The Ox getting his first full start for England against Moldova & Santi Cazorla scoring Spain’s opener being the highlights from yesterday’s matches.

Now for some personal highlights!  Following last night’s nationally ranked high school alma mater, John Curtis’ thrashing of Plant (FL), a fellow nationally ranked team, is the arrival of my first set of Arsenal home & away jerseys!  Behold the glory!:

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As you can see, for the home jersey I went with my surname, “Chatelain,” which is French for “person who goes by the nickname of ‘Curtis’ ” & for the away jersey I went with a Brazilian style nom de guerre of “Curtisimo,” which is actually Spanish for “the most Curtis.”  Obviously, I’m a silly bastard that likes to “pass a good time.”

Anyway, I got to get back to some college football as I’m mainly waiting for Dem Tigers to play Washingtaint in about 90 minutes on De ESPN but I’ve already seen Moo State beat Aubarn in a matchup of cow colleges & I’m currently watching a good game of Floriduh & Texass A&M.  Hooray for football of all kinds!

Have yourselves a good Saturday!

Geaux Tigers!

LSU v. Washington; USA v. Jamaica; Arshavin Stays At Arsenal

A trifecta of teams’ news for you today.  Man, I took the day off from work yesterday (9/6) because my sinuses were acting up pretty good & had all day to post something & I couldn’t get around ’til today (9/7) which is actually just before bed for me yesterday (9/6).  Um, which is still actually “today” (9/6) at the moment for me.  Got it?  Good.

LSU
LSU -24 vs. Washington

Once again, we’re bringing a Tiger to a dog fight, so once again I like our chances…

Ok, I’ll start with the LSU stuff because I don’t near keep up with the daily ins & outs of the Tigers as I should.  For all the immersion 24/7 of LSU football back home, I quite enjoy the sort of daily detachment I have from Da Tigahs up here in Anchorage.  I certainly enjoy being detached from the nitpicking of the team.

Hope you’re not too hungry because this is your only Tasty Nugget of the week right here in LSU-Washington.  I know, I know, “how the mighty have fallen!”  “What is the world coming to?”  “The Nuggetz ain’t what they used to be.”  “The Nuggetz have gone ‘pop.’ ”  And other sundry & assorted platitudes & clichés.  But it is what it is these days.

So did you like over the summer how The Hat, who has a penchant for eating grass, kicked the Honey Badger off of LSU’s football team (though he just recently re-enrolled in school following finishing a portion of his rehab program) for chronic smoking of grass?  Like how I used the double entendre pun with ‘chronic?’  Cunning linguists still aren’t impressed, however.  Anyway, eating grass got rid of smoking grass all the while the grass in Tiger Stadium got soaked for Hurricane Isaac.  So you can eat your grass, cut your grass, soak your grass & I think even lay your grass (another double entendre) but you just can’t smoke it.  Speaking of things that are smoked, that will be the Huskies as the Mettenchrist still looks spotty but LSU has too many horses in the stable & too many Mastodons that bring Blood & Thunder on the D-line that offset LSU’s concerns in the secondary.  But 24 points?  I don’t know about 24 points… hope I’m wrong.

LSU 30, Washington 17

This is the kind of song that should be put as highlight music, not that dance-sounding crap

USMNT
The US national team faces Jamaica tonight/tomorrow night… damn it, on Friday.  There.  The mighty US of freaking A plays Jamaica away in Kingston on Friday night in their third CONCACAF second round group World Cup Qualifier & currently lead Group A on goal difference after two matches.

The US has never lost to Jamaica enjoying  an 11-0-9 overall record, scoring 34 goals & allowing 12 in those 20 matches.  The USA’s largest win ever was a 5-0 in a friendly against the Reggae Boyz on May 16th, 2002.  Josh Wolff with 2, Clint Mathis, Landon Donovan, & DaMarcus Beasley were the goalscorers on that day.

The US also enjoyed a 5-1 win in 1999 but a draw is usually on the cards when the US travels to the isle of Jamaica & with key players Landon Donovan & Michael Bradley out with injuries & Clint Dempsey having not yet played in the EPL following his holdout with Fulham & subsequent transfer to Lasagnaham, I think I smell another draw.  A draw wouldn’t be bad at this stage of qualification but if a draw is what’ll happen then that definitely means it is in the USA’s interests to get the full three points in the return match with Jamaica in Columbus, Ohio on Tuesday.

I couldn’t tell you who plays for Jamaica these days so I had to go to their wiki page just to even get a name.  And looking at their recent roster, it’s no wonder I had trouble recalling any names.  Only two players play in England & only one of those, Adrian Mariappa, plays in the Premier League for Reading.  Although the other player who plies his trade in England, Nyron Nosworthy, has Premier League experience when he was at Sunderland.

But a national team in their home country, even in CONCACAF, is never to be taken lightly, so hopefully Jürgen Klinsmann will have the Yanks ready to play.  I still think this match has 1-1 written all over it.

Prediction:   Jamaica 1-USA 1

ARSENAL
Finally, a few Arsenal tidbits to end this post.  We’ll start off with Andrei Arshavin turning down a move to Dinamo (or is it Dynamo?) Moscow.  The Russian transfer window closed yesterday, so it looks like Arshavin will be staying with Gunners unless a domestic loan is worked out with somebody.  Hey, doesn’t Liverpool need attackers?  Get those knuckleheads on the phone & tell them we have a hot tip on a diminutive Russian attacker named Kennady Dalglishikov & then plop Arshavin down on their doorstep & get the hell out of Liverpool before we’re forced to hear Beatles songs.  Ahhhh, the Beatles.  Just like Liverpool- once great & completely overrated in my book.

On a curious note, Arsène Wenger has blocked a loan move for reserve/U21 player (that U21 thing will still take a little getting used to), Conor Henderson.  The young Irish midfielder is coming off a knee injury that made him miss all of last season but there were several clubs that interested in his services on loan.  However, Wenger has stated he wants to see Henderson’s development continue at the club but to the slight annoyance of Henderson.  Henderson wants the chance to play first team football/soccer, a chance he obviously won’t get at Arsenal, so to keep him at the club & stick him in the reserves is a bit odd, even for Wenger.  I’m not sure what to make of it really.

Finally, those who want some good news, here’s some about Steve Bould where Wenger is singing his praises for the defensive work we’ve done so far this season.  The Arsenal blogosphere, myself included, has definitely noticed the how much better we look as an actual cohesive unit in defense these days & to a man have pretty much thought it was at least in part due to Steve Bould coming in as Wenger’s right hand man.  The defense is so far the overlooked part (because “Arsenal can’t score anymore!” sells more papers) of the season & we’re the only club in the league, the entire football league not just the EPL, to have not conceded yet.  Long may it continue & the likes of Adrian Derpham can sing the old “boring, boring Arsenal” songs all they want.

And, of course some “bad” news.  Apparently Bacary Sagna might be the next Gunner to leave.  Or not.  Or maybe so.  Or maybe not.  He apparently made some comments in L’Equipe that can be construed as him being upset.  Whatever.  If he goes, he goes & if he stays, he stays.  It ain’t rocket surgery.  If he goes I’m sure we’ll just get some other right back from France or maybe move Francis Coquelin there permanently or promote Nico Yennaris from the reserves.  I just can’t be bothered with this kind of shit anymore.  If you want to go join the silverware parade at the Mancunster clubs or €hel$ki than go do it.

Anyway, hopefully my sinuses get better since Anchorage has a Mardi Gras fest in the fall tomorrow, er, this evening.  Tonight.  The 7th.  Damn it.  Friday evening.  Whatever.

Boo-Hoo More Soccer Stuff

The international break usually means a dearth of club news, so we’re left with fantastic stories like Vito Mannone considers himself a “better keep in every way,” following his loan spell at Hull in the Championship last year.  Mannone certainly has acquitted himself in the last two matches following Wojciech Szczesny’s absence through injury but let’s slow down a bit, Vito, eh?

“I think I have improved in every part of the goalkeeper position,” Mannone told Arsenal Player.

“In my mind as well, I came back stronger and stronger [from my loan spell]. Especially after the mistake at Olympiacos – it’s never easy to come back, but when I’ve got my back against the wall, I don’t mind. I just roll up my sleeves and try to work because I know I can do well.

I’m not dismissing the Italian’s new-found confidence or belief but despite two good displays, he still is a clear  backup to Szczesny for me.  Mannone still looked a bit bothered on high balls in the box at times against Liverpool but his shot-stopping has been good.  Either way, here’s to hoping Mannone’s improvement continues & he plays well until Szczesny’s return.

Arsenal released their full playing squad lists for the UEFA Champions’ League & Premier League yesterday as well.  There’s 54 names on the full list, which for the Champions’ League includes a 25-man ‘A’ squad where interestingly, 17-year old Serge Gnabry has made the cut.  The youngster did well in pre-season & has done well also in the reserves early on, but likely will make his first team bow in the Carling Cup.  However, if Arsenal do well enough in their CL group perhaps Arsène Wenger will give the young German a run out in the final group match if we’ve qualified for the knockout stages by then already.

Andrei Arshavin made the list despite rumors of the mercurial Russian leaving the club before the Russian transfer deadline on Thursday.  I don’t have the CL roster rules in front of me but if Arshavin were to leave the club, I believe the club would be able to fill that roster spot with someone else without having to wait until the spring registration window (provided we make it through the competition that far, of course.)

And for the last bit of Arsenal news, let’s all take another gander at Abou Diaby’s Man of the Match performance against Liverpool over the weekend:

Not Patrick Vieira, but Diaby was Vieira-esque on Sunday

Moving on to some national news & it’s for the US.  USA!  USA!  USA!  Right.  US Soccer released the USMNT’s 24-man roster for their upcoming qualifiers against the Reggae Boyz of Jamaica on Friday & next Tuesday evenings:

U.S. ROSTER BY POSITION
GOALKEEPERS (4): Brad Guzan (Aston Villa), Tim Howard (Everton), Sean Johnson (Chicago Fire), Nick Rimando (Real Salt Lake)
DEFENDERS (9): Carlos Bocanegra (Racing Santander), Geoff Cameron (Stoke City), Steve Cherundolo (Hannover), Maurice Edu (Stoke City), Clarence Goodson (Brondby), Fabian Johnson (Hoffenheim), Michael Orozco Fiscal (San Luis), Michael Parkhurst (Nordsjaelland), Jonathan Spector (Birmingham City)
MIDFIELDERS (7): Kyle Beckerman (Real Salt Lake), Joe Corona (Club Tijuana), Jermaine Jones (Schalke 04), Brek Shea (FC Dallas), Jose Torres (Pachuca), Danny Williams (Hoffenheim), Graham Zusi (Sporting Kansas City)
FORWARDS (4): Jozy Altidore (AZ Alkmaar), Terrence Boyd (Rapid Vienna), Clint Dempsey (Tottenham Hotspur), Herculez Gomez (Santos)

No real surprises in that group really given the injuries to Michael Bradley & Landon Donovan, & it looks like Jürgen Klinsmann is definitely set on moving Maurice Edu to the center of defense.  Klinsmann must no doubt want a defender who has a bit of ball-playing ability at the back as he looks to implement a more possession-based system than American teams are generally used to.  We’ve definitely never really had central defenders that were that good on the ball except maybe Marcelo Balboa & even ‘Celo was never going to be mistaken for Franz Beckenbauer or anything.

Molde FK winger, Joshua Gatt had been originally named in the roster & would’ve possibly made his USMNT debut, but he was withdrawn due to an injury in his last match with his Norwegian side.

I would also guess that captain Carlos Bocanegra moves out to left back & Klinsmann would go with a central defense pairing of Geoff Cameron & Maurice Edu.  Or maybe he pushes Edu up into midfield & starts Goodson next to Cameron?  From the players named & being a bit short in the midfield with Bradley & Donovan’s absences, I would imagine Klinsmann would go with a lineup of:

Howard

Cherundolo — Edu — Cameron — Bocanegra

– Jones — Beckerman

Williams —- Dempsey ——- Shea

Altidore

Friday’s match in Kingston, Jamaica will be televised on beIN Sport, which apparently is some new exclusive soccer network that I bet I don’t get.  Yep.  I don’t get it.  Sounds like I’m finding a feed on Friday.  Tuesday’s “return” match in Columbus will be broadcast on ESPN2 at 8 PM ET/4 PM AT.

Oh, by the way, I would be remiss if didn’t mention the USA’s recent win over Mexico IN Azteca last month.  It was the first time in history the US defeated Mexico in the seething cauldron that is Azteca.  The Mexicans can cry all they want about the match only being a friendly, but they know damn right having the kind of record where they had never lost against us, ‘The Gringos’, in their home stadium, drives them up a freaking wall.  Uno a cero, bitches.  Add that one to the historical wins list with “Dos a cero,” when a match DID matter the most.  You mad, Mexico?  Boo-hoo!

Uno a cero, perdadores!

Arsenal Gumbo

Liverpool manager, Brendan Rogers, writing his lamentations during our winner over the Scousers…

After that opening Liverpool schadenfreude appetizer of a picture, here’s some Arsenal gumbo for you.  Not much going on at the moment because of the stupid international break.  At least this time we don’t have to worry about Robin van Persie’s glass ankles anymore, though now that he’s at Mancunster United busy supplanting the Hairplugged & Bulldog-faced, former English wonderboy, he’ll probably never, ever, ever, ever… ever, ever… ever get hurt again.  “RvP has twice as many goals as Arsenal does, derpderpderp!!”  Yeah, well he has more losses than Arsenal does too, Adrian Derpham.

No Traitor van Stapleton anymore, but here is a list of the Gunners called up to national team duty:

Belgium:   Thomas Vermaelen, D
Côte d’Ivoire:   Gervinho, A
England:   Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, M, & Theo Walcott, A
France:   Abou Diaby (d’oh!), Olivier Giroud, A, & Laurent Koscielny, D
Germany:   Per Mertesacker, D, & Lukas Podolski, A
Poland:   Lukasz Fabianski, G
Spain:   Santi Cazorla, M
Switzerland:   Johan Djourou, D
Wales:   Aaron Ramsey, M
France U-21s:   Francis Coquelin, M

That’s 14 players total away to international sides during the break & unfortunately, this is one of the breaks where two matches are played a few days apart from each other, so there’s double the chance of injury!  Anti-huzzah!

You always cringe at least a little bit when players who are just coming off injuries, either long-term or recent, such as Diaby & Koscielny, are called straight into international duty.  I know national team managers have a job to do & are under pressure to win like any other manager but you just wish there were steps sometimes to give recently injured players to be allowed more rest & exempt them from being called directly back into their national sides sometimes.  Oh well, chalk it up to the perils of having good players that are in good form as well, I guess.

A’ight.  First up in the gumbo ingredients, via Arseblog, is 7amkickoff’s interesting & humorous “by the numbers” feature for the Liverpool match.  Highlight of which is this tidbit:

Moany bitchfaces made when a call did’t go his way: March — September
Louis Suarez: 13 — 16

Next is Zonal Marking’s article (great site, by the way) on the Liverpool-Arsenal match which highlight’s Santi Cazorla’s movement & defensive responsibilities of both sides’ midfields.  Gene, make this site a regular read for tactical based stuff, my man.

Gingers 4 Limpar’s post from Monday, highlighting how partnerships these days are different from the traditional strike partnerships in the days when 4-4-2 reigned supreme.  G4L also has some good videos showing Cazorla’s performance & some waxing poetic about Arteta & Diaby’s performances in midfield which were both quite magnificent.

And here’s more tactical analysis of the Liverpool game from the official site.  It’s another interesting take that poses the idea that depending on the opponent, Arsenal’s 4-2-3-1/4-3-3 can morph from a 4-2-1-3 (as against Sunderland & Stoke) to a 4-2-3-1 with ball & 4-4-1-1 without it where the wide players play much deeper & have more defensive responsibility (as against Liverpool).  All this tactiacl reading gives me the tinglies/frisons!

The U-21s defeated their Everton counterparts yesterday, 3-0.  Sanchez Watt (whom I thought had been released again) scored twice from the spot & Dutch midfielder, Kyle Ebecilio scored late on to lead the Gunners’ B-siders to their 3 successive victory in as many matches.

Also from the official Arsenal site is an article about midfielder/defender, Craig Eastmond, who looks to move positions again & also talks about going out on loan as he did last year for Wycombe Wanderers.  Eastmond definitely is squeezed out by the numbers in midfield at the moment.  I personally think he doesn’t have much of a future at the club as another young player, Francis Coquelin also deputizes as a deep-midfielder/right back role & also with the likes of Chuks Aneke & others chomping at the bit in the U19s/U21s in the midfield positions.  With that said, I would guess he’ll be let go at the end of the season when it’s all said & done as he’ll be 22 soon, and at the age where a footballer needs to play regularly which he won’t find at Arsenal given the quality of choices available.

On to players- one at the club, for the moment- Andrei Arshavin may be on his way back to Russia as the club mull over the idea of letting him go on a free transfer.  CSKA Moscow is reported to be interested (or is it Dynamo Moscow?  The article can’t seem to make up its mind) as Zenit’s interest as recently cooled due to them just dropping a cool €90 million on Hulk & Axel Witsel.  We’ve gone over Arshavin plenty of times before- ton of talent, but getting him to display it is too frustrating & he’s quite lazy in defense, so it’s time for him to move on as he’s clearly not in Wenger’s plans at the moment, even with the recent Walcott contractual spat.

Now, a player no longer at the club & it’s about Cesc.  Who apparently has a sad at Barcelona.  Awwwww…

Right.  So,  there’s your Arsenal Gumbo.  Grab you a big bowl & dive right in.  Later.

I Knew It- Underwhelming Transfer Deadline Day For Us

Me, especially after I learned Clint Dempsey signed for Sp*rs

So, Transfer Deadline Day has come & gone & Arsenal didn’t make any moves despite calls to bring in another striker, a defensive/deep-playing midfielder and/or a defender.  The latter, preferably a fullback, was the most needed in my opinion but it seems Arsène Wenger is happy with the squad as is & he’ll no doubt trot out the “like a new signing” line when Tomáš Rosičký & Jack Wilshere return from injury.

I know people don’t like that line because from a signing standpoint, it isn’t true, however, from a playing time standpoint, it is true.  If we had signed a new player in midfield, for example, with this year’s return of Abou Diaby & Jack Wilshere (due back in October), that’s two people right there that needs playing time to be found.

Complaining won’t do any good at this point because it is now clear that the boss is pleased with the squad- Arteta in Song’s spot, Diaby in Arteta’s spot from last year, & Cazorla in the advanced midfield spot.  That leaves a midfield depth of Franics Coquelin, Emmanuel Frimpong, Rosičký, Wilshere & likely two youngsters that will be blooded at some point during the season in Thomas Eisfeld & Serge Gnabry.  You could maybe throw in Chuks Aneke in there too, although I think he’ll be loaned out personally.  As will a couple of the players mention as depth.

So, at this point the only way Arsenal can bring in any new faces will be on loan, which would likely be players that wouldn’t be that useful in terms of what we need.

Deadline Day did see us work two loan deals to offload a couple of strikers, however, we’ll be paying a portion of both’s wages, in Niklas Bendtner & Ju-Young Park.  Bendtner is being loaned to Italian giants, Juventus, whilst Park is going on loan to Celta Vigo of Spain.  Bendtner gets the high-profile move his ego’s been seeking & Park gets a move to, well, actually play.  Not sure what Park’s move was ever about (shirt sales?!) but I had high hopes for him when we signed him last year.

There’ll no doubt be some impending loans in the coming weeks for some U21 and/or U19 players but for now the Arsenal squad is cemented, which I’m sure is to the disappointment of those who were seeking yet another big name signing.  It is what is, but to completely dismiss this summer as the same old thing, is a bit off the mark in my view.  Feel free to tell me why I’m just a lackey of the Arsenal board or Wenger.

But hey, Walcott stayed, amirite?!  Well, that looks like Arsenal will be playing the really high risk strategy of hoping the forward will re-sign during the season, but if he doesn’t sign a new contract in the fall, he’ll be a de facto free agent in January & will be allowed to start talking to other clubs per FIFA rules.  Personally, it wouldn’t bother me if Walcott goes, though now it’s definitely a bit bothersome since he can leave for free now but I would hope this means that Arsenal will go the extra mile to re-sign him now.  The extra money Walcott wants can easily be given to him by fully selling Bendtner & Park. Knock on wood.

Arsenal’s underwhelming deadline day wouldn’t have been so bad for me, but then you see the deadline day Sp*rs had.  I hate those cunts but you have to tip their hat to them.  They’re definitely signing aggressively in recent years & I’d like to know how they keep pulling off these deals for quality people for what seems like massive bargains- Van Der Vaart for under €10 million a couple of years ago & now both Clint Dempsey & Hugo Lloris for under a total of £15 million.  Ugh…

I’ll try to have a Liverpool preview & roster breakdown now that it’s set but then again, I have to try & squeeze in a few hours at work & then get my LSU college football on tomorrow too! Geaux Tigers, Yeyeah!  ‘Til next time…

Updated signing/departures list (updates in red):
Confirmed signings: Santi Cazorla (Málaga), Olivier Giroud (Montpellier), Lukas Podolski (1. FC Köln)
Confirmed departures (includes U21s & U19s): Benik Afobe (Bolton Wanderers- loan), Manuel Almunia (Watford), Kyle Bartley (Swansea City), Niklas Bendtner (Juventus- loan to buy), Daniel Boateng (Oxford United- loan), Pedro Botelho (Atlético Paranaense), George Brislen-Hall (Norwich City), Alban Bunjaku (Sevilla), James Campbell (Dundee United), Joel Campbell (Real Betís-loan), Tom Cruise (Torquay United), Denílson (São Paulo-loan), Samuel Galindo (Lugo-loan), Ben Glasgow (Stoke City), Gavin Hoyte (Dagenham & Redbridge), Henri Lansbury (Nottingham Forest), Sean McDermott (Sandnes Ulf), Jeffrey Monakana (Preston North End), Rhys Murphy (Telstar Velsen), Oğuzhan Özyakup (Beşiktaş), Ryo Miyaichi (Wigan Athletic- loan), Chu/Ju-Young Park (Celta Vigo), Philip Roberts (Inverness Caledonian Thistle-loan ), Alex Song (Barcelona), Robin van Persie (Manchester United), Carlos Vela (Real Sociedad), Sanchez Watt (released- Carlisle United?), Wellington Silva (Ponferradina- loan)

 

Arsenal Gumbo For 8/29

Obviously the transfer news for Arsenal right now is dominated by whether or not Theo Walcott is to re-sign with us by tomorrow or be sold by friday.  I stated my position in yesterday’s post & it’s a bit laughable people are now pointing to Theo as some key cog in our side.  WTFever.  That is definitely the pot-stirring, nothing but winding-up media creation of the likes of TalkShite radio in the UK.  You can point to last year’s statistics all you want, Fat Axl (Adrian Durham from TalkShite), problem with that is they’re last year’s statistics.  And so effing what if Theo’s an “England regular.”  England are rubbish.  If Theo is sold he can easily be replaced by a cheaper option that will likely be more effective.  And if it’s The Ox that takes his place, all the more reason to ship Theo out & perhaps it would then mean a stay for the likes of someone like Park.  Or maybe the manager has some daft idea of playing Santi Cazorla on the wing when Jack Wilshere & Tomáš Rosičký return.  Or getting in a more defensive midfielder, pushing Arteta forward in the midfield & putting Cazorla on the wing.

So, as you can see, it ain’t the end of the world if Theo leaves.  Unless you’re Adrian Durham from TalkShite who just loves to hate him some Arsenal (warning: the argument put forth in the link is so incoherent & non sequitur, it defies belief even for a pure wind-up merchant like Talkshite Adrian).  He’s currently pushing Theo Walcott leaving Arsenal would be disastrous for the club & he’s no doubt especially butthurt in recent days since his elven, bromantic partner, Luka Modric, up & left Sp*rs for Real Madrid.  Sad Adrian must be sad.  So, lash out at Arsenal.  Boo hoo, Fat Axl.

” ‘Ello, I’m Adrian Durham from TalkShite Radio.
If you look in a dictionary, my picture is next to the entry, ‘fucktard’ “

In U19 news the NextGen series started today for Arsenal & they opened up the competition with a bang as they defeated French side, Olympique Marseille, 3-0.  Highly touted Chuba Akpom scored twice & Nico Yennaris bagged the other goal for the young Gunners.  I had originally posted in a previous post that the NextGen series was to be played by our U21s, the new incarnation of the reserve side, but I was mistaken.  As I stated above, in this post, the NextGen series is actually a U19 competition.  Either way, good on the young Gunner squad & way to acquit the club well in the opening match.  The next match in the competition for Arsenal is the U19 side of Basque club, Athletic Bilbao, of Spain on September 6th.  Le Boss has stated that he’ll watch every single game of the competition for the club, so it’ll be a good opportunity for the youngsters to show Le Boss what they’ve got!

The official site is running some profiles of the younger members of Arsenal’s squad.  So to get the lowdown on some lesser known Gunners check ’em out:

Martin Angha
Charles Reice Cook
Nico Yennaris

Speaking of young Gunners, a U19 striker, Irishman Philip Roberts, is leaving to go on loan to Scottish Premier League side, Inverness Caledonian Thistle until January.

Beşiktaş is apparently interested in Marouane Chamakh again & every club in Italy is interested (supposedly) in The Greatest Striker Who Ever Lived, the one & only Niklas Bendtner.  I hope so.  Get on with it (leaving), Bendtner & Chamakh!

Tomorrow is the Champions’ League draw.  We’ll all be waiting with bated breath to find out who the Gunners will draw in their group.  Hopefully Sp*rs will get a touch group for them to battle in the CL too… BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

And ohhhhhh by the way, Green Day is scheduled to play a concert at The Emirates Stadium next summer.  So, there’s that.

Tomorrow & Friday should be hectic with comings & goings at the club.  ‘Til then, have a good one.

Updated signing/departures list (updates in red):
Confirmed signings: Santi Cazorla (Málaga), Olivier Giroud (Montpellier), Lukas Podolski (1. FC Köln)
Confirmed departures (includes U21s & U19s): Benik Afobe (Bolton Wanderers- loan), Manuel Almunia (Watford), Kyle Bartley (Swansea City), Daniel Boateng (Oxford United- loan), Pedro Botelho (Atlético Paranaense), George Brislen-Hall (Norwich City), Alban Bunjaku (Sevilla), James Campbell (Dundee United), Joel Campbell (Real Betís-loan), Tom Cruise (Torquay United), Denílson (São Paulo-loan), Samuel Galindo (Lugo-loan), Ben Glasgow (Stoke City), Gavin Hoyte (Dagenham & Redbridge), Henri Lansbury (Nottingham Forest), Sean McDermott (Sandnes Ulf), Jeffrey Monakana (Preston North End), Rhys Murphy (Telstar Velsen), Oğuzhan Özyakup (Beşiktaş), Ryo Miyaichi (Wigan Athletic- loan), Philip Roberts (Inverness Caledonian Thistle-loan), Alex Song (Barcelona), Robin van Persie (Manchester United), Carlos Vela (Real Sociedad), Sanchez Watt (released- Carlisle United?), Wellington Silva (Ponferradina- loan)

Likely signings: Yohan Cabaye (Newcastle United), Jésus Navas (Sevilla),
Likely departures: Andrei Arshavin (Al-Sadd [Qatar], Fulham, Galatasaray, Reading, Zenit Saint-Petersburg), Niklas Bendtner (Galatasaray, AC Milan, Inter-Milan, Juventus, Spartak Moscow), Marouane Chamakh (Beşiktaş, Fiorentina, Málaga, Rubin Kazan, Valencia-loan), Denílson (AC Milan), Łukasz Fabiański, Vito Mannone (Hull City), Chu/Ju-Young Park (Al-Ain [UAE], Blackburn Rovers, Celta Vigo), Sébastian Squillaci (Bastia, Olympiakos Piraeus), Theo Walcott (Liverpool, Manchester City)

Possible signings: Ibrahim Afellay (Barcelona), Lucas Biglia (RSC Anderlecht), Nicolai Boilesen (Ajax Amsterdam),  Etienne Capoue (Toulouse), Tongo Doumbia (Rennes), Omar El-Haddouri (Brescia), Isco (Málaga), Cheikh M’Bengue (Toulouse), Stéphane Mbia (Olympique Marseille), Philippe Mèxes (AC Milan), Yann M’Vila (Rennes), Paulinho (Corinthians), Angel Rangel (Swansea City), Jese Rodriguez (Real Madrid), Luke Shaw (Southampton), Cheick Tioté (Newcastle United), Kenneth Udjus (Sogndal), Emiliano Viviano (Palermo), Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa (Montpellier)
Possible departures: Johann Djourou (Napoli), Conor Henderson (Charlton Athletic-loan), Ignasi Miquel (Brighton & Hove Albion- loan), Aaron Ramsey (Fulham)

I Can’t Wait Until The Transfer Window Is Closed

What used to be a pretty fun part of being a soccer fan was the summer transfer season.  Rumors that weren’t that far off the mark of this player & that player who might be coming in is now replaced with ridiculous rumors, people not wanting to re-sign contracts even though they’ve vastly underperformed in their current one (hello, Theo Walcott!) & every time a player leaves or is rumored to be leaving there’s stupid stories of how your club is in crisis.

Should we start with the Theo Walcott nonsense?  Sure, let’s do that.  After promises that there would be contract extension talks, Arsenal have apparently offered Theo £75k per week, he currently makes £60k per week, but the winger/forward has rejected the club’s offer & is holding out for closer to £100k per week.  If Walcott wants £100k a week, it sounds like either TW14 will have to cave & take the club’s offer or it’s sionara, nice to know you, Theo.

It’s beyond ridiculous at this point that a player like Theo, who hasn’t even come close to reaching the lofty expectations that were placed on him, is holding out for wages of that nature.  Maybe if Theo actually put in a decent cross once in a while (& I mean a real cross, not a pass along the ground to RvP who did all the work to find space with an expert run) & oh I don’t know, not dribble over the endline like a partially impaired terrier multiple times a game, then perhaps the club would consider something in the neighborhood of what Walcott’s expecting.

A partially impaired terrier… more effective then Walcott?

I see people saying it’s not about the money, it’s about the ambition of the club (this has become such a bullshit regurgitated meme, it’s not even funny; being extorted for money is not showing ambition) & not being able to keep RvP.  Well, I’m sorry, but that’s frankly a giant pile of horse shit.  If it’s not about the money then why ask for a 40% salary increase when you can’t even hold down a starting spot in the first eleven?  Oh, that’s right, because you’re a twat like the rest of most modern soccer players.  Nice to know you, Theo, see you in Liverpool.  I’m sure you’ll play well for them & actually try the whole time you’re there since you were a fan of theirs as a boy.

If someone like the likes of Jesus Navas comes in (Wiki already lists him as an Arsenal player, LULZ) as your replacement then I won’t shed a tear, especially as I won’t shed one even if you’re replaced by an actual partially impaired terrier.  And if it means Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain is handed a role in the starting eleven, then I seriously would like you to GTFO & stop wasting our time.  You’ve been at the club six years & you still can’t make proper decisions or give decisive balls in the final third (yeah, yeah, yeah all those assists to RvP last year, blah blah blah).  So get out the way of The Ox & take your underachieving ass to Scouserland.  You’ll Never Underacheive Alone.

Jésus Saves The Arsenal?

Click on the image to make it biggerer & readable

But remember, an underachieving player who hasn’t even come near to the expectations of when he was first bought, despite regulasr appearances for the Three Kittens, it all adds up to, you guessed it, CRISIS!  When are we ever not in crisis these days at Arsenal?  Don’t buy, it’s a crisis.  Buy, but apparently buy the wrong players, crisis.  Stars leave, crisis.  Underachievers leave, crisis. Young players sold, crisis.  Crisis, crisis errawhere a crisis!  Sounds like the end of Arsenal Football Club as we know it, but I feel fine…

Okay, moving on to other players definitely leaving the club, Henri Lansbury has joined Nottingham Forest for a reported fee of £1 million, which, even in this day & age is a decent price for someone who only appeared seven times for the first tiam & mainly in the League Cup where he undoubtedly had his finest moment in an Arsenal shirt.  Lansbury was always crowded out of Arsenal’s midfield where Arsène Wenger has preferred more technical players, perhaps to the detriment of the team.  Lansbury could’ve possibly provided some drive & effort from midfield, and he certainly didn’t lack technique by any means but things never seemed to work out for him & now he’s off to Forest despite being at Arsenal since he was 8 years old.  Thanks & good luck, Henri.

Moving out on loan today is central defender, Daniel Boateng, who moves to League Two side, Oxford United.  Boateng hasn’t made any first team appearances in his time at Arsenal but was a regular in the reserves side last year.  The loan deal runs until the January transfer window when the player will be due back to Arsenal, no doubt to then receive another loan out to another club.

And there’ll be no M’Baye Niang for Arsenal as well, as the 17-year old has signed for AC Milan.  So, I’m sure missing out on a 17-year old striker will certainly be a crisis.  Or it’s the cherry crisis on top of the crisis icing on the crisis cake.  Championship level, get ready for the Arsenal…

Finally, obviously there should be a flurry of activity with players leaving the club, hopefully being players such as Niklas Bendtner, Marouane Chamakh, Sébastian Squillaci, et al.  If not, there’ll have to be a lot of loaned out players, which Wenger has hinted at already, & which won’t be beneficial as we’ll have to foot part or most of the wages at that point.  Umm, crisis, right?

3 more days to the end of the transfer window & maybe some solace.  Oh, who am I kidding? It’ll be delaing with some sort of crisis either real or imagined, all because we don’t have a rich Arab or Russian oil benefactor who spends money like there’s no tomorrow.

Updated signing/departures list (updates in red):
Confirmed signings: Santi Cazorla (Málaga), Olivier Giroud (Montpellier), Lukas Podolski (1. FC Köln)
Confirmed departures (includes U21s & U19s): Benik Afobe (Bolton Wanderers- loan), Manuel Almunia (Watford), Kyle Bartley (Swansea City), Daniel Boateng (Oxford United- loan), Pedro Botelho (Atlético Paranaense), George Brislen-Hall (Norwich City), Alban Bunjaku (Sevilla), James Campbell (Dundee United), Joel Campbell (Real Betís-loan), Tom Cruise (Torquay United), Denílson (São Paulo-loan), Samuel Galindo (Lugo-loan), Ben Glasgow (Stoke City), Gavin Hoyte (Dagenham & Redbridge), Henri Lansbury (Nottingham Forest), Sean McDermott (Sandnes Ulf), Jeffrey Monakana (Preston North End), Rhys Murphy (Telstar Velsen), Oğuzhan Özyakup (Beşiktaş), Ryo Miyaichi (Wigan Athletic- loan), Alex Song (Barcelona), Robin van Persie (Manchester United), Carlos Vela (Real Sociedad), Sanchez Watt (released- Carlisle United?), Wellington Silva (Ponferradina- loan)

Likely signings: Jésus Navas (Sevilla)
Likely departures: Andrei Arshavin (Al-Sadd [Qatar], Fulham, Galatasaray, Reading, Zenit Saint-Petersburg), Niklas Bendtner (Galatasaray, AC Milan, Inter-Milan, Juventus, Spartak Moscow), Marouane Chamakh (Beşiktaş, Fiorentina, Málaga, Rubin Kazan, Tottenham Hotspur, Valencia-loan), Denílson (AC Milan), Łukasz Fabiański, Vito Mannone (Hull City), Chu/Ju-Young Park (Al-Ain [UAE], Blackburn Rovers, Celta Vigo), Sébastian Squillaci (Bastia, Olympiakos Piraeus), Theo Walcott (Liverpool, Manchester City)

Possible signings: Ibrahim Afellay (Barcelona), Lucas Biglia (RSC Anderlecht), Nicolai Boilesen (Ajax Amsterdam), Yohan Cabaye (Newcastle United), Etienne Capoue (Toulouse), Tongo Doumbia (Rennes), Omar El-Haddouri (Brescia), Isco (Málaga), Cheikh M’Bengue (Toulouse), Stéphane Mbia (Olympique Marseille), Philippe Mèxes (AC Milan), Yann M’Vila (Rennes), Mbaye Niang (Caen), Steven Nzonzi (Blackburn Rovers), Paulinho (Corinthians), Angel Rangel (Swansea City), Jese Rodriguez (Real Madrid), Luke Shaw (Southampton), Cheick Tioté (Newcastle United), Kenneth Udjus (Sogndal), Emiliano Viviano (Palermo), Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa (Montpellier)
Possible departures: Johann Djourou (Napoli), Conor Henderson (Charlton Athletic-loan), Ignasi Miquel (Brighton & Hove Albion- loan), Aaron Ramsey (Fulham)

How Does The EPL Table Look After Two Match Weeks?

Well, headline, I’m glad you asked because I was wondering the same thing.  As you can see below it’s still Armageddon for Arsenal as they sit in twelfth place with no goals, NO goals, NO GOALS! GOALAGEDDON!

 

Pl.	Team	GP	W	D	L	Pts	GF	GA	GD
1	Chelsea	3	3	0	0	9	8	2	6
2	Swansea City	2	2	0	0	6	8	0	8
3	Everton	2	2	0	0	6	4	1	3
4	West Bromwich Albion	2	1	1	0	4	4	1	3
5	Manchester City	2	1	1	0	4	5	4	1
6	Fulham	2	1	0	1	3	7	3	4
7	Manchester United	2	1	0	1	3	3	3	0
8	Wigan Athletic	2	1	0	1	3	2	2	0
9	Newcastle United	2	1	0	1	3	2	3	-1
10	West Ham United	2	1	0	1	3	1	3	-2
11	Stoke City	2	0	2	0	2	1	1	0
12	Arsenal	2	0	2	0	2	0	0	0
13	Sunderland	1	0	1	0	1	0	0	0
14	Tottenham Hotspur	2	0	1	1	1	2	3	-1
15	Reading	2	0	1	1	1	3	5	-2
16	Liverpool	2	0	1	1	1	2	5	-3
17	Norwich City	2	0	1	1	1	1	6	-5
18	Queen’s Park Rangers	2	0	1	1	1	1	6	-5
19	Southampton	2	0	0	2	0	2	5	-3
20	Aston Villa	2	0	0	2	0	1	4	-3

Anyway, I currently see some Sp*rs & some Liverpoop beneath us at the moment as well, which makes me go LOL.  No goals scored & you’re still beneath us?  I guess you truly will never walk alone, dopes.

As luck would have it Liverpool is our next opponent at Anfield next week, so we get to hear that crappy Rogers & Hammerstein show tunes song prior to the match.  Hear that, Liverpool?  Your club song is a show tune.  How many Tonys do you have with all your European Cups?

And if I was still a betting man, I’d put money on El Perro Langosta winning a PK this weekend (Howard Webb is officiating the match, after all).

Luís Suárez seen here partnering giant photoshop-headed Andy Carroll

Oh yeah, we’re apparently still  on the trail of Yohan Cabaye, Yann M’Vila, Etienne Capoue, Ibrahim Afellay & every other midfielder that’s kicked a ball in France (did you know Wenger is French?) or Spain in the last 11 years.  I have a sneaking suspicion with all of our midfielders coming back soon, which Arsène Wenger made a point to highlight the other week, any signing here will be of the old “um, who? I have to look him up,” super-scout variety that Le Boss used to drop on us every summer.  Or I could be crazy.  Both are solid bets, I think.

We’re also apparently linked with Nicolai Boilesen, a fullback for Ajax.  I don’t know that much about him other than he hasn’t played too much for Ajax in his time there, but I would still trust our scouting network to know something we don’t & not only be taking a flyer on someone just because he plays for a specific club with certain prestige.

Anyway, as I’ve said before, it’ll behoove us to move people on before we get people in, so this week should be interesting since Wenger has hinted both overtly & subtly that we could be seeing two more signings.

Updated signing/departures list (updates in red):
Confirmed signings: Santi Cazorla (Málaga), Olivier Giroud (Montpellier), Lukas Podolski (1. FC Köln)
Confirmed departures (includes U21s & U19s): Benik Afobe (Bolton Wanderers- loan), Manuel Almunia (Watford), Kyle Bartley (Swansea City), Pedro Botelho (Atlético Paranaense), George Brislen-Hall (Norwich City), Alban Bunjaku (Sevilla), James Campbell (Dundee United), Joel Campbell (Real Betís-loan), Tom Cruise (Torquay United), Denílson (São Paulo-loan), Samuel Galindo (Lugo-loan), Ben Glasgow (Stoke City), Gavin Hoyte (Dagenham & Redbridge), Sean McDermott (Sandnes Ulf), Jeffrey Monakana (Preston North End), Rhys Murphy (Telstar Velsen), Oğuzhan Özyakup (Beşiktaş), Ryo Miyaichi (Wigan Athletic- loan), Alex Song (Barcelona), Robin van Persie (Manchester United), Carlos Vela (Real Sociedad), Sanchez Watt (released- Carlisle United?), Wellington Silva (Ponferradina- loan)

Likely signings: ?
Likely departures: Andrei Arshavin (Al-Sadd [Qatar], Fulham, Galatasaray, Reading, Zenit Saint-Petersburg), Niklas Bendtner (Galatasaray, AC Milan, Inter-Milan, Spartak Moscow), Marouane Chamakh (Beşiktaş, Fiorentina, Málaga, Rubin Kazan, Tottenham Hotspur, Valencia-loan), Denílson (AC Milan), Łukasz Fabiański, Vito Mannone (Hull City), Chu/Ju-Young Park (Al-Ain [UAE], Blackburn Rovers, Celta Vigo), Sébastian Squillaci (Bastia, Olympiakos Piraeus)

Possible signings: Ibrahim Afellay (Barcelona), Lucas Biglia (RSC Anderlecht), Nicolai Boilesen (Ajax Amsterdam), Yohan Cabaye (Newcastle United), Etienne Capoue (Toulouse), Tongo Doumbia (Rennes), Omar El-Haddouri (Brescia), Cheikh M’Bengue (Toulouse), Stéphane Mbia (Olympique Marseille), Philippe Mèxes (AC Milan), Yann M’Vila (Rennes), Mbaye Niang (Caen), Steven Nzonzi (Blackburn Rovers), Paulinho (Corinthians), Jese Rodriguez (Real Madrid), Luke Shaw (Southampton), Cheick Tioté (Newcastle United), Kenneth Udjus (Sogndal), Emiliano Viviano (Palermo), Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa (Montpellier)
Possible departures: Daniel Boateng (loan), Johann Djourou (Napoli), Conor Henderson (Charlton Athletic-loan), Henri Lansbury, Ignasi Miquel (Brighton & Hove Albion- loan), Aaron Ramsey (Fulham), Theo Walcott (Liverpool, Southampton)

Decent Performance Against The Orcs; Another Nil-Nil

The Urûk-Hai are revered in Stoke as an übermensch

The story from the media will be “without Robin Van Persie will we ever score again?”  Clearly the answer is “no,” since Robin van Persie was the only striker Arsenal has ever had.  In fact, looking through the club’s records book, the Dutchman strangely is the only person to have ever scored a goal for Arsenal.  Truly remarkable.

It must be so easy to be a sports journalist.  Whatever the team does, just concentrate on the opposite.  Give up a late goal?  You have defensive frailties that amount to a crisis.  Don’t score a goal in consecutive matches?  Clearly you have attacking issues which amount to, yes, you guessed it.  But you”ll have to wait for it. Wait for it….. a crisis. Or at the very least, a problem.

To the actual match, yes, we still look like we’re lacking in the attacking third, mainly due to a lack of cohesion & understanding between the attacking players.  It’s still pretty obvious, unless of course you’re a media lapdog or one of the people who care about their often moronic views, that guys like Olivier Giroud, Lukas Podolski & Santi Cazorla are still learning each other’s games.

Defensively, we looked pretty well-organized again, and it’s clear that overall team defense & understanding was drilled into the side over the summer.  Mikel Arteta, for all the cries to sign a “proper” or “orthodox” defensive midfielder, has done the deep-lying, holding midfield role very well in the opening two games.

The defensive work showed very well today against The Orcs from Stoke (Stoke’s fans are truly pathetic, more on that later) as Stoke rarely threatened, albeit from the odd possession on the counter, and Arsenal did a yeoman’s job in marking & defending set pieces, Stoke’s main threat.

You can see from WhoScored.com’s match report that, like Sunderland, we dominated the match statistically.  Considering how much trouble those orcish cunts have given us in our travels to Stoke/Mordor, I think we can draw a lot of positives from the match even if it does feel a bit more like two points dropped than a point gained.

And for all attacking issues in the first two matches of the season, we’re certainly look to shoot from outside of the box more these days, which is a good thing, even if the best chance of the match probably came from Giroud’s audacious & fairly outlandish driven lob on the right from some 40 yards out.

It’s not time to panic by any means & the Gunners that are already doing so are the type that want to panic even when we win a match 2-1.  In short, they’re irrational.  Those kind of “fans” are only happy in 4-nil or 5-nil wins.  The attack will take some time to get in gear because rebuilding a side is not as easy as a plug & play FIFA video game.  Obviously, we need to start scoring & our lack of attacking prowess so far can quickly become an issue once the wear & tear of a Premier League season & being in several competitions begins as players tire & pick up injuries.  But I have faith in Arsène Wenger to be able to craft an attacking side with the likes of the players we have, because after all, we were once “nothing but a mid-table team without Thierry Henry.”  We’ll score goals again without Robin van Persie.  Dumbasses.

So, on to Liverpool at Anfield next Sunday & hopefully some goals as Liverpool will come out & play not pack bodies behind the ball like our opening two opponents.  Hopefully their defense will be in a giving mood like they were today.

Ok, about the Stoke “fans.”  Truly it’s pathetic that they seem to care more about what happens off the pitch then on it.  Yes, they “get behind their team.”  But then again, criminals back their crime boss too, don’t they?  Booing injuries & constantly trying to wind people up to the extent that they do it, is pub league stuff.  It’s beneath amateurish.  Seriously, these “people” lustily continue to boo Aaron Ramsey, & chant “wanker” at a player who did nothing but commit the heinous crime of getting his leg broken by a Stoke defender who has multiple leg breaks on his rap sheet, I mean, playing history.  I’m convinced these “fans” feverishly masturbate over pictures of Aaron Ramsey’s broken legs every time they’re to face Arsenal now.  They somewhat cheered a hatchet-job tackle on Thomas Vermaelen outside of the box following a half-cleared corner.  I’m not sure there is a word strong enough to epitomize the level of cuntishness that Stoke “fans” display. The sooner Stoke plays poorly & gets relegated from the EPL, the better.  And if you don’t like it Potter “fans” you can go rape a puppy for all I care.  Mainly because it’s what you probably already do at after-match parties anyway & not because I wish that upon any puppies.  Say, “hello,” to Satan & Sauron for me, you cunts.

Match highlights.

Arsenal Starting Lineup
Mannone

Jenkinson — Mertesaecker — Vermaelen (c) — Gibbs

Diaby — Arteta

Cazorla

Gervinho — Giroud — Podolski

Bench:   Martínez, Djourou, André Santos, Coquelin, Ramsey, Oxlade-Chamberlain, Walcott

Player Ratings
Vito Mannone (7)-  The 3rd choice ‘keeper, did a decent job & claimed several high balls on long balls into the box & set pieces pretty well.  Can’t really fault him for anything today except maybe kicking the ball out when he maybe could’ve given better balls.

Carl Jenkinson (6.5)- Jenkinson didn’t have to do too much again as Stoke chose to sit back at home but was on the end of a couple of arguably slightly harsh foul decisions.  Crossing needs to get better though.

Kieran Gibbs (7)- Gibbs did well and stood up to some direct & physical play.  Luckily wasn’t called for a penalty when former Gunner, but complete prick, Jermaine Pennant threw himself to the ground looking for a penalty.

Per Mertesacker (7)-  The big German did well & dealt with aerial threats well.  Was composed on the ball & marked well throughout.

Thomas Vermaelen (7)- Vermaelen had a bit of a quiet game by his standards but that’s because he did his job well.  No slip ups, defended well & helped negate Stoke’s long ball threat.  Was also on the end of a hatch-job tackle by Stoke “player,” Andy Wilkinson.

Mikel Arteta (8)- Once again played the “deep” midfielder & was the Man of the Match today.  Arteta broke up Stoke attacks well, nicking the ball on several occasions & tracked back well & defended well all afternoon.

Abou Diaby (6.5)- I’ll go a little soft on Diaby because his lack of regular playing time over the past two seasons but his final ball today was pretty much wrong all afternoon.  He is popping up in good positions & arguably had a good shooting chance late on which he passed up opting to try & play Giroud (or was it Podolski?) in.

Santi Cazorla (7)- Cazorla was once again bright & passed well.  I definitely like how he floats around in the final third, popping up all over.  Is not afraid to shoot & led Arsenal with 6 shots today.  Forwards need to learn his game quickly though as we often look a bit  nonplussed with what Cazorla is going to do with his final ball.

Gervinho (5)- Oh, Gervinho.  Where to start?  Oh, right, you’re complete lack of a final product once again.  He’s Glenn Helder with a giant forehead.  Can dribble excellently, but shits the bed with his final ball decision all too often.  With Th Ox healthy, I’d drop the Ivorian from the starting lineup for Liverpool.

Olivier Giroud (6)- Was slagged off by certain corners for his performance today but personally I don’t think he was that bad & on a few occasions needed passes given to him when he was well placed.  Nearly scored on a completely audacious 40-yard lob from the right side.

Lukas Podolski (6)- The German striker was direct & did well & arguably should’ve had a penalty when he had a shot blocked by a Stoke defender’s head/hand.  Was direct with the ball but like the other forwards, looked a bit perplexed & lacked cohesion in the attacking third.

Substitutes
Theo Walcott (6)-  came on for his pace & attacked Stoke with his direct dribbling but couldn’t produce anything of note.

Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain (6.5)- The Ox needs to start now that he’s healthy.  Another direct player but was also good in defense in his short time on the pitch.

Aaron Ramsey (6)- Nearly scored with a shot a few yards wide which would’ve been the highest form of poetic justice against the Orcs & was wide open in the middle when Giroud tried his lob.

So, two points from two games sees us in 12th place betwixt the two teams we drew with so far.  As previously mentioned, we face Liverpool next week who just drew with Mansour City so I’m sure it’ll be a week of Scousers who will crow about their massive Carling Cup win, the number of times they’ve won the European Cup/Champions’ League & defaulting to the “Arsenal haven’t won a trophy since 1544” argument & not wanting to talk about their club’s debt or that they haven’t won a league title since before there was a Premier League.